Monday, March 30, 2009

Grinding, grinding...Themes for April 2009

A couple of things of note going on right now...

Already slow-moving Pluto is grinding to a halt, stationing to go retrograde at 3 degrees Capricorn on April 4. That has some uncomfortable grinding, gear-changing energy for those of us sensitive to energetic shifts.

The same day - Saturday, April 4 - Mars in Pisces will oppose retrograding Saturn in Virgo. Saturn is the planet that rules Capricorn, so Saturn in Virgo in that opposition formation is influencing stationing Pluto in Capricorn. Potent, potent. The energies of the Mars-Saturn opposition as well as the energy of Pluto going retrograde are building until then, peaking April 4, but continuing all the following week.

It can be a little unbearable at times.

The day before, April 3, retrograding Venus in Aries squares stationing Pluto in Capricorn. More potentially uncomfortable energy. The energy of that square is carried into the next day and into the entire Pluto retrograde. Another check letting us know that our fresh starts (in relationships, with money, values and self-worth) have to work within some broader Plutonic context. Our fresh starts have to work with Pluto, not at cross-purposes. We have to understand now that the way things have been set up in the past is not how they are going to go in the future. Things have to change. At least for those of us who care to give humanity on this planet a fighting chance. Our new goals have to be set with this Plutonic imperative in mind.

See all these retrogrades (Venus, Saturn, Pluto)? Huge processes going on inside us. Recalibrating for leaps forward that we could not have even imagined previously. It's like backing up, giving ourselves room and taking a few settling deep breaths so that we can have the best running start possible.

The Mars - Saturn opposition can bring up feelings of being stretched way past our point of comfort. This aspect brings up, yet again, the energy of the ongoing Saturn - Uranus oppositions. So dealing with themes related to the dissolution of our old structures combined with flashes of consciousness about the way forward - completing the transition from astrological Piscean era to Aquarian.

After Mars moves out of opposition with Saturn, it heads to a conjunction with Uranus (April 15). Processing the energy of lightning strikes of blinding new consciousness (Uranus) through our bodies (Mars), again, is not necessarily comfortable.

So feelings of exhaustion, spaciness and being oddly energetically charged are par for the course. Feeling as if we just can't do it anymore because we really CAN'T do it anymore - not in the same old ways. We're being charged with the consciousness of the way forward at the same time as we're grinding to a halt within the old confines.

Plutonic symptoms are also to be expected as Pluto stations and is squared by retrograding Venus.

Plutonic symptoms relate to feelings of shedding and moulting of old energy. Like a snake shedding its skin. Passing this energy out of our bodies can cause things like nausea, absolute, bone-weary exhaustion and feeling kinda dirty and repulsive, even after showering/bathing. Sometimes it feels as if we have battery acid running through our systems, weird electrical impulses (also relates to the Uranus/Aquarius energy we've got going on now), feelings of radiating energy.

What we're purging in ourselves and in our relationships (for ourselves and for the collective) is not feeling too great at the moment.

So basically, some rough spots are to be expected. Do what is absolutely necessary but give yourselves lots of time to just sit and do "nothing." IE. process the huge amounts of energy coursing through our systems and deal with the physical and emotional demands of the day.

This Venus in Aries retrograde, in general, has been triggering my Pluto in Libra in small, annoying ways. Bringing people from the past into my consciousness whom I've had irritating experiences interacting with and digging up the emotions from those times. Most of it is related to my sense of injustice somehow.

But it all feels very much like the tail-end. The rawness of feeling is not there. It was processed at the time, and this retro feels like the final discharge of it. Letting it go and demanding more of my relationships (and the people in them) from now on.

The memory of being punched in the Plutonic gut stays with you, but I like the feeling that that stuff really is over now. I don't feel oppressed by past relationships anymore or as if there is a danger that I might fall into the same patterns. The knowledge that I really am in new territory (or will be soon) is refreshing. I don't want to speak too soon because we still have the Venus station on the 29th degree of Pisces which could have some nasty blind spots associated, but I do feel as if I will be able to handle anything that should come up. (And I'm actually hoping it's all done!)

The idea that we're discharging the last eight years of relationship/values/self-worth stuff (since Venus was last retrograde in Aries - March/April 2001) has been really helpful during this current retrograde. I really am seeing the progress and hope everyone reading this is, too!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

New Moon in Aries Conjunct Retrograding Venus: Themes for the Next 28 Days (March 26 - April 24)

Today we have finally clawed our way to a breath of fresh air. Our head pops up out of the Piscean fog, at least for an invigorating look ahead. New Moon in Aries (Sun and Moon coming together at 6 degrees Aries) conjunct Mercury and retrograde Venus. And the Sun, Mercury and Venus continue their conjuncting dance in Aries until March 30.

This winter has seemed interminable in a lot of ways. Some days it feels as if time has stopped altogether. I think this is partially due to Saturn retrograde in Virgo, opposing the past month's Pisces planets. We've all been waiting (im)patiently for spring to finally roll around.

I've especially been waiting for this day for quite some time. I'm not a huge fan of a lot of Pisces energy, especially tail-end Piscean Age Pisces energy. That spacey, floaty, diffuse stuff doesn't do it for me (as it's on my South Node in the 8th house). The "been there, done that, let's move on" vibe gets a bit exasperating...and heavy..and painful.

We've been in the Pisces void long enough, I say! Time for something to start happening! And yet...Pisces has not given up its influence. (Well, for $@%! sakes!) This is disappointing news for those of us really hoping for some movement right now. (me) But I cannot pull a Piscean trick and gloss over reality. We're not free and clear to move ahead just yet. Still more going with the flowing...

Mars, which rules Aries, is in Pisces right now and will be until April 22. (Mars will enter Aries and Venus will re-enter Aries at around the same time. Looking forward to that!) That means, all the planets currently in Aries (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus) are being influenced by Pisces right now, and our fresh start is tied to wrappings up of a spiritual nature - much of which is out of our hands until it is brought up.

The spring-induced recharging of physical energy is also going to take a while longer. *sigh*

With the personal planets in Aries, there is a definite emphasis on our physical bodies. It's just that our physical bodies are still clearing past cycles. As well, our every move, our every cell is infused with the spiritual significance of these times we're living in, and this creates a heavy demand on our attention and energy. The significance of these times is huge and the physical demand is and has been, correspondingly, huge. We carry the energy of the collective - the quiet faith, the whispered hopes, the sustaining dreams of all who have come before us, and all who are yet to come, really. We are their prayers. This responsibility needs to really sink in before we just pop off in our new Arien directions.

Mars in Pisces is not a very comfortable combo. Mars wants new directions, speed, action, physicality at the forefront. But with Mars in Pisces, our physical bodies are carrying the energetic impressions of all that has come before...even through ancestral lines. We feel floaty, dreamy and adrift within the collective - not focused purely in our individual bodies and identities. We're still a bit "touched." Our goals, movements and physicality, in general, are being informed from other levels. Sticky parts of the personal and collective subconscious manifest through the physical body.

Mars in Pisces marks a period when our bodies can feel especially ancient with odd, unexplainable aches and pains. Low physical energy. We have a foot in both worlds at the moment, and we have to give due care and attention to both or we'll be prone to karmic incidents (weird accidents and sicknesses, for example) that bring us back up to speed. We can't drop our spiritual consciousness in favour of pure physicality, but we also can't space out of our bodies, either. It's a somewhat tricky combo.

Mars relates to goals, and our goals now have to take into consideration what we know about ourselves on a spiritual level.

Also known as "Old Souls Don't Belong on Snowboards."

The energy right now reminds me of this. When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I saw people my age skiing and snowboarding and rock climbing and such, and I wondered why I never got to do stuff like that. It didn't seem fair. So when I was living in Whitehorse, I decided to try snowboarding. Wow. Was I ever terrible. Like...reaaaaally terrible. Had zero knack for it at all. When I finally got to the top of the bunny hill (after falling 10 - 15 times on the rope tow), I started down (as per my bf at the time's instructions) and fell backwards onto my tailbone so hard, I blacked out. Searing pain. I lay there dazed for about five minutes before I could get back up. Subsequent efforts went just as well. I actually did go up on the big lift but fell so many times and made so little progress that I had to ride the snowboard down the hill like a toboggan because it was getting dark and the hill was closing. True story. I wish it weren't.

It was as if it were a physical impossibility for me to snowboard.

And it makes me think of lovely English lady Natasha Richardson at age 45 on that ski hill in Quebec.

Sometimes the world just taps you on the shoulder and says, uh uh! I think the trick right now is to listen...but also to not let it discourage you to the point that you hole up in yourself and don't try anything new. Again...tricky combo.

As I've written before, Venus in Aries is heading back to 29 degrees Pisces mid-April. Here is another indication of these fresh start/completion of past cycles themes...this time in relationships (including our relationship with ourself). And another reason I'm excited for that April 22 - 24 period when both Venus and Mars are in Aries. That time feels very fresh, like the final layer falling away and leaving us with a push into exciting new territory.

One more thing to keep in mind now...big, bad Pluto is stationing to go retrograde in Capricorn and is being squared by all the Aries. Our fresh directions occur within that context. So all the business turmoil, the economic meltdowns, the restructuring, the white collar criminality, the lack of hierarchical integrity across the board...we're going back over it, making necessary adjustments and coming to terms internally with what it all means and what it is going to mean.

Pluto goes retrograde April 4 at 3 degrees Capricorn. That's right! We've only dealt with the first three degrees of Cappie. The retrograde period lasts until September 10.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Inferior Superiors...How Unusual!

I got this question about the Venus in Aries Retrograde and Anger as a Guiding Force post, and it's a perfect example of what I was talking about regarding Pluto in Libras and the role of Aries/anger, in general, so I thought I would respond in a post. (Hope this is OK with you Anonymous. Since you're Anonymous, I thought, what the heck.)

So Anonymous wrote:

"What if the person you are feeling these flickers of anger towards is a person who got a position that you had applied for, but were denied, and then, that person ended up supervising you, and they have no management experience? What do you then? You can't express your anger...even though it is totally valid...and fueled by many people at your workplace and partner agencies/workplaces who are all saying "you should have got the job, it was totally political." What do you do then? Because you're pretty angry. You really are.

PS...I love your blog and read it all the time. I'm really tryuing to synthesize the lessons of being a Sag Rising/Leo Sun/Gemini Moon/Pluto in Libra/Pluto conjunct midheaven and north node/sun saturn conjunct in 8th house and you are helping me do it so thank you!"

Yes. Well then. There's one of those Pluto in Libra lessons all stirred up as Venus in Aries opposes (Venus leaves Aries June 5). And with Pluto in Libra on the MC (MC = Midheaven - the 10th House cusp and most visible area of the chart), it's unfolding in the business world, within the work hierarchy. In a very visible, public area.

When Pluto in Libra is activated, it often has something to do with a person's inherent sense of injustice being stirred up by the experience of oppressively unjust circumstances. We can see that here. Someone who was not qualified for a position of authority over you got the job due to shifty office political reasons.

So you just got burned by this situation in the typically Plutonic method...and continue to be singed on a daily basis. You can't get away from it. It's right there, in your face. Also fits the Plutonic modus operandi, as it tries to work the thorn out. It's not going to let you forget this is there and unresolved.

OK. So, what to do about it.

Well, first off - don't deny that you're angry about it because everyone already knows you are. This situation is playing out on your MC, so it's out there for all to see in your workplace. The ugly feelings Pluto stirs up are not generally things we want to air in our workplace...but here you are. The people who know about the situation know that you got screwed and that you're pissed about it. So pretending it didn't happen or stuffing it down is not going to work. At the same time, maintaining professional dignity is crucial. You have to work the balance here. People are going to be watching to see how you react to/interact with this person, how you deal with this hateful new power dynamic and how it affects your professional performance.

Right now, you are oppressed by the situation. You, ostensibly, did not come out on top and now have an inferior in a position of authority over you. Ugh. But, yes, there is a reason this is happening. Your Pluto work. So this is evolutionary desire (what the universe wants) trumping personal desire (the promotion). You have to think of your personal situation in the larger context of evolutionary imperative on the planet. There are millions of situations just like your's going on right now, triggering people to make moves, create changes. There is pressure building (Pluto) in these situations, and when there's enough pressure, complete transformation happens. Coal turns to diamond and all that crap. The pressure of injustice forces people to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle their way out from under it and over the long run, people reacting, making moves, making decisions, following impulses, following their guts will create justice, balance and equality. Basically, we hope to get to a point where this kind of political hogwash doesn't happen because people see through it and won't tolerate it anymore.

More context: we also currently have Pluto in Capricorn (rules the 10th House). So there is SO MUCH of this invalid, bullshitty hierarchy stuff going on it could choke a horse. (I was born in the Year of the Horse, and I can say yes, it does choke me.) The lack of integrity inherent in these structures brings about their downfall eventually. This is what we're seeing en masse in the U.S. business/economic world. And it exists in varying degrees right now in any business/workplace. Pluto in Cap is doing its work...on us and through us.

So basically, there's Plutonic gold in your situation waiting to be mined. It's just a bitch to get to it. Working through it successfully will take you to the place where you need to be.

OK. So how to get to it. I'm not sure if your Pluto is actually on the 10th House side of the MC? I'm making an ass out of u and me here and assuming.

So the polarity point is Aries on the IC on the 4th House side. So going right back into your fiery, angry centre to get through this. Babying yourself a bit. Telling yourself that you are you and everything is OK regardless of what is going on in the backdrop of your work life. Knowing that your feelings here are righteous. That person ISN'T qualified. It's not fair that that person is in a position of authority over you. But it exists. So accept those very basic ideas as a grounding point. But also understand that with Pluto involved, there are reasons for these conditions that are not yet understood.

Don't downplay, squash or invalidate any of your feelings about it. Do your inner work so that you don't have a Plutonic volcano of hell erupting in your work life over this every week or so. Make it all about you and getting you through this.

It's imperative to get some distance from the Plutonic process, and the furthest point away is that Aries in the 4th. This is how you can separate YOU from the process seemingly happening to you. This is happening TO you, but it's not you. You're still you regardless of what happens. Hold your core.

Process as much of it as you can inside yourself. Take action in your life in other ways, also. Do peripheral things. Trust your anger to show you what needs new direction.

You know that dumping the angry emotions on your co-workers is just not professional and will do nothing but hurt you in the long run. Sure, some hashing over with allies during coffee break can be ever-so-therapeutic. Go ahead. But at a certain point, it no longer does any good. You also have to realize that true allies are (generally) few when dealing with Pluto in the workplace, so make sure you don't vent to the wrong person. Pluto lessons just beg for us to misuse our emotional energy and bring inappropriate people into the loop so that we get our asses nailed for it.

There is an emotional independence here (Aries in the 4th) that has to be cultivated.

At the same time, you have to actually feel the emotions being stirred up and get to the exact root of each one. So every time you are triggered by the situation with the Inferior Superior, you have to go back into yourself and figure out exactly what it was that rubbed you the wrong way and take some sort of action on it, no matter how tiny. Just make a move out of the situation. Follow your impulses and channel them properly...or you will have a totally toxic Passo Aggro Fest on your hands, which no one wants. You have to get to the point where you can at least work around this person and interact, even if you think the person is a complete dumbass. And if the person IS a complete dumbass, it will more than likely come out on its own.

So speak up when you know you have to, but don't have a vendetta against this person. It's best to let nature run its course rather than getting involved yourself and running the risk of it backfiring on you.

Things aren't fair. It sucks. But we're working on it.

With the Sun and Saturn in Leo in the 8th, you have more fire emphasis. Getting through these tough times means shining the light of who you are in the world, taking charge of your creative process and being the star you are in whatever circumstances you find yourself in. The power of your personality and who you are lead you to better circumstances.

Also ask yourself if you are creatively happy in this job...

You were up for a promotion, so obviously you are craving some movement in your position...some new responsibilities, new creative challenges, new goals.

Look at what you can do from your current position. Forget about the position you were passed over for and try to work with what you've got.

If there is no way to progress in the job, you might have to start looking elsewhere. If this political bullshittery runs throughout the organization, it might be a losing battle. Only you know that.

You have a huge power of transformational creativity within you that wants to be utilized. Demands to be utilized, actually. And you need a vehicle for it befitting such a grand power.

Tell yourself that you will try to turn these lemons into lemonade, but give yourself permission to leave the situation if it proves to be intolerable/hopeless.

Good luck, and I hope this is helpful.


Friday, March 20, 2009

WWA Gettin' Some Cyber Props...

One of my posts was nominated (thanks Saviabella!) for something called Five Star Fridays (thanks Schmutzie!). Check it here:

Five Star Fridays

I'm seriously overwhelmed by the number of blogs on the Web, and sites like this are really nice because they (Schmutzie) provide small chunks of good quality bloggery at a time.

Small steps, Girl of the Limberlost, small steps...

Savia was actually the person who introduced me to Blogger, in general, so muchos gracias, Bella, for your assistance! You have no idea how deep my technological ignorance really goes (which you can see, for example, by the way I don't know how to make the links I post actually go to the sites), so thanks for helping me step into "the future," at least on the blogging front.

(And thanks for telling me what I was doing wrong with the links! Highlight first! Of course. It makes so much sense...NOW!)

I also like that an astrology blog is included with non-astrology blogs. An astro-geek blogger sitting at a table in the lunchroom with the regular geek bloggers. Who would have thought this day would come?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Happy Last Day of Winter! Sun on 29 Degrees Pisces!

Here's a nice summery water shot from my parent's ranch we can meditate on today as the Sun passes through the final degree of the zodiac - 29 Pisces.

The Sun enters Aries at around 5 a.m. MST tomorrow morning, marking the spring equinox/first day of spring. Daylight hours get longer from here on in (in the Northern Hemisphere).

So enjoy/persevere through this last day of Piscean contemplation and dissolution as we wrap up this zodiac year! (Today is the Western tropical zodiac's New Year's Eve!)

Venus will be back on 29 Pisces April 11 - 23 as we experience that whole "Last Day of Winter" theme in our relationships. Many relationship cycles coming to completion, as well as things to do with self-worth, values, pleasure and love, love, love.

Mars will also move through this degree of Pisces April 20 - 22, so Venus and Mars will basically be conjunct on this degree, passing into Aries within a day of each other, making for a very potent completion/fresh start vibe. I'm really excited for that time.

At the same time, I don't want to believe that I have to be patient until the end of April, but I think it's the case. I'm still not sure what is going to happen with Art of My Heart. Just waiting for a new location to open up and trying to take care of whatever I can take care of day-by-day. Trying not to let the fogginess and lack of clarity aggravate me too much.

The new directions are tied to successful completion of old cycles, as always, but because we are clearing an entire "Age" now, it's even more important that we leave nothing unresolved. Things will wrap up, as always, according to cosmic timing, and we have to work to accept that and go with it.

But still we can celebrate as each layer wraps up! There really is a lot to celebrate. And for now...Sun in Aries is some pretty great news!

Happy Astro New Year!!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Venus in Aries Retrograde and Anger as a Guiding Force

Anger is helpful. There is nothing unspiritual or shameful about anger. It's there to guide us, as an impetus to action. Anger flares up to tell us something is not quite right and needs to be addressed, to be made right.

There are many situations and circumstances on Planet Earth where anger is necessary, vital. To not feel anger/irritation/annoyance in these situations and circumstances shows that the spirit is broken in some way.

Retrograding Venus in Aries is here now, in part, to strengthen our relationship with our own anger. To help us use it properly, to follow its constructive impulses and to learn to love its wisdom.

Venus in Aries is also making sure we're tapped into the raw power of who we are. That we're not compromising ourselves too much or dulling our flames in any way within our relationships or social settings.

So many times in our relations, we ignore the little warning flares of anger. Libra (ruled by Venus) likes harmony and doesn't want to rock the boat. It will often downplay its own feelings for the supposed greater good of the relationship. The problem is - this is not actually good for the relationship. It creates a level of falsity, and over time those flickers of anger we've ignored and internalized become big resentments.

Those flickers of anger are actually meant to be the impetus to action. They're there to tell us to exert our will and make a move, in whatever direction feels right. When we ignore these signals and subvert our will, even in the tiniest ways, we don't get where we need to be within our relationships and in our lives, in general. We end up in a place that doesn't feel right and isn't what we really, truly want.

Every tiny flicker of anger is purposeful and is trying to tell you something about a move that needs to be made.

We're getting a second chance now with Venus retrograding in Aries to work with these co-mingling forces of love and war and to align with the guiding flickers of annoyance, irritation, and anger within our relations with others. No pretending they're not there!

These themes are especially important for Pluto in Libras (1971 - 1984). Our evolutionary work of "cutting the shit" in relationships and creating true equality hinges a great deal on our mastery of Aries within those relationships. Developing the polarity point to our Pluto placement is crucial to our success.

Because I understand the importance of Aries energy for Pluto in Libras (and being one myself), I feel that there is a misstep within the "spirituality of the day" regarding anger. It is the promotion of the idea that "enlightened" people don't get angry. That we have to purify ourselves of anger and "transcend" anger-inducing circumstances.

Horse hooey.

The anger is there to show us what needs to be changed. Anger is our ally when we align with its raw, constructive directional potential and channel it in productive ways.

It's when we deny our anger, ignore it, and cover it over day-by-day - and maybe more importantly, when we are denied our legitimate anger by others - that it becomes dangerous and spills out in less constructive ways.

Instead of listening to people's frustrations, respecting the perspective, and working to understand and address what is causing the anger, there's a New Agey knee-jerk reaction to talk people out of it, to explain it away according to some motto or creed (that often involves a requirement to become "more evolved" or "more enlightened"). It all just needs to be healed with a cup of medicinal tea and a big old group hug! Healing can only happen when the root causes of the pain and anger are addressed. Anger is a symptom. Again with the treatment of symptoms rather than the more difficult work of getting to the nitty gritty root causes.

When people try to talk me out of my darker feelings and show me the "error" of my ways, all I can think is: the only thing that might help is you being less of a dumbass. Instead of dumping superficial and unsolicited "healing advice" on me, try going a little deeper. Take on your fair share of the consciousness and do something constructive to try to improve circumstances, or honestly, just step aside because we're pretty much done.

So many people seem to instantly feel "more evolved" or wise than a person who is expressing anger, and there is a lazy tendency to write people off as "angry" and "negative," as if this is actual meaningful analysis. The fact that the individual is supposedly fundamentally flawed in these ways creates the problems, they say, not the other way around.

Well, isn't that convenient? Again, this lets the collective off the hook for any group, systemic, or institutional responsibility for righting wrongs. It also lacks any sort of understanding that an individual could be taking on difficult life circumstances in order to understand and bring things to light that the collective has been denying or ignoring for too long. This turns the canary in the coal mine into the problem itself.

We don't move on until these things are addressed. Got it?

When we don't take action on anger's instructional impulses, or when we are made unable to take action due to systemic/institutional set-ups, anger becomes toxic to our systems, creating roiling, resentful rage and/or depression. That's when things can get ugly. Think of a kid being bullied in school who has his initial complaints constantly ignored or downplayed - and then one day just erupts into violence.

I would argue it's the constant writing off of other people's frustrations and anger, and the resulting continuation of the root circumstances, that takes things to that next level - rage.

This is why I am choosing to hammer home this point. The denial and condemnation of anger within the "spirituality of the day," and particularly within New Age ideology, is actually dangerous. Those puppies and unicorns have box cutters, y'all.

But honouring our feelings of anger, listening to them, getting to the root of what is making us angry, and then taking action on it - and making space for this process in relationships and social settings? That's a beautiful thing, and we get a chance to experience that beauty right now.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Kicking False Karasses to the Curb! Retro Venus in Aries Sextile the Aquarius Stellium

Being our true, honest, raw selves is the only way to find and create our new communities. This is the way we enter into relationships with true equals, true comrades.

Stripping down social artifice of all kinds. Stripping away any stifling self-censorship that goes along with belonging to and maintaining status within a group. Finding freedom from and passing out of the crumbling structures of any groups or relations that can't contain who we really are. It takes courage, yes.

This is what is so exciting to me about these times. That we could eschew false karasses and demand our most authentic places within our most suitable communities alongside our most compatible comrades. Awesome.

Here is where living our diversity as individuals creates the collective we desire. It's not about moulding and shaping ourselves to fit within a group. It's about uncovering and living every nuanced aspect of ourselves, no apologies, so that the community forms around us and fits like a malleable, ever-adapting glove. No bending, no bowing, no squishing ourselves into shoes that don't fit just because everyone else we see is wearing them. Every edge, every corner, every variation is necessary for us to find our rightful place. They are not to be downplayed or explained away.

Being disconnected from AstroDispatch (a website that publishes masses of astrology blogs) makes me aware that being connected to that type of community is not for me. My perspective is not for everyone, and I know this. While I liked that it (possibly) made it easier for people who like this blog to find me, I actually realized a degree of self-censorship that I was doing here just because I knew that my blog posts would be out there for the masses to see. That's not something I want to do.

I've always understood that astrology was one of those false karasses. Being into astrology does not equal compatibility. There are as many variations of astrology as there are astrologers and there is no greater likelihood that you'll mesh with someone on that basis than with the general public. In fact, in my experience, it's usually worse odds. A sort of "too many cooks in the kitchen" type of thing.

Some people are like oil and water. They just don't mix. Instead of making that into something that is wrong, why don't we just accept it? Wouldn't that save a lot of confusion and hurt feelings?

From experience, I understand that I'm just not a person who can (or is meant to) bend to the rules of membership. Existing group dynamics always seem to require some sort of personal compromising/conformity to the way of the group, and I just don't agree with that. I guess the only group I'm meant to belong to is the group of people who have similar standards. haha

I really write this blog as a communication to the universe and, as odd as it sounds, to myself. I see it as a breadcrumb trail for myself and, I guess, for other people who find the communication valuable.

I think about younger versions of myself and how rough they had it at times. I think about the rough spots up ahead. And I think about the kind of honest and loving advice and instruction I would like to give myself to make the way a little less treacherous. That's what I try to do with this blog. It's the kind of loving advice and instruction I would like anyone in similar cirumstances to find. A breadcrumb trail through time and space that tells all of us that we're going to make it through. A trail to help us feel less alone because we know someone has been through here before. A trail to show us how to traverse the tricky parts and how to avoid the pitfalls. Something that tells us there are others who understand, even if we can't see anyone up ahead or behind.

Because I know how rough this particular trail is, I won't waste my time with anything that isn't what I consider straight-up real, honest and authentic. There just isn't time for anything else.

So the fact that this blog is not "connected" to any one group or organization is actually useful because I think it makes it more likely that only those who understand this particular breadcrumb trail will find it.

It's like that saying: you don't find many people on the extra mile. And when you do find someone else, it's mighty fine. Mighty fine.


I've run out of Virgoan tasks to pour my nervous energy into. My apartment can only be so clean. There are only so many dishes to do. My taxes are done. The plants are watered. I'm a person who never lets things get too Piscean chaotic, anyway, so there is not much to clean up.

On the other end, I can only meditate so long. There are only so many hot baths I can take, so many candles I can stare into and so much going with the flowing I can do. There's only so much nothingness a girl can take, yo.

We have just come out of several oppositions today, so the tension should start to ease now. I hope. I'm absolutely stir-crazy and feel pulled apart by many different forces, in many different directions. Yuck.

The Leo Moon is motoring through oppositions to the huge (and almost unmoving) Aquarius stellium. It will oppose Chiron, Neptune and Mars in Aquarius over the next 12 hours after already opposing the North Node, Jupiter and Juno.

The Sun in Pisces opposed Saturn in Virgo at around 1 p.m. MST today and brings up the energy related to the ongoing Saturn - Uranus oppositions. These themes are lit up right now, and this will continue as we head into the Virgo Full Moon conjunct Saturn on Tuesday, March 10. Again, this Full Moon should help to ease some tension (after the initial build up).

For me, these oppositions have been related to depression and heaviness combined with spaceiness. Feeling antsy and oddly charged by Uranus/all the Aquarius and at the same time draggy and exhausted by it all. Feeling seasick, being tossed around by the energies of the day and at the same time feeling stuck under the weight of it...under the weight of where we find ourselves on planet Earth right now. And where I find myself.

The void time between destruction of the old and creation of the new. This has never been a very comfortable place for me, but my life circumstances have made sure I've been here many times before. I guess I'm supposed to get better at it. haha

At the same time, we have Venus at a crawl having just turned retrograde in Aries. This is opposing my natal Pluto in Libra, so yet another layer of discomfort.

Not to mention that massive Aquarius stellium squaring all my natal Scorpio. (Anyone with Scorpio or Taurus energy in the chart will be being squared by this stellium.)

And we're in a deep freeze in Canada again. Calgary, where I live, has one of the mildest winters in the country, and we've got a wind chill of -28 at the moment after another big dump of snow. It's been a long winter.

So right now, I'm OK with the fact that all I can do is cope minute-by-minute. And if that coping involves copious amounts of Internet, TV and Zesty be it! :-)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Venus in Aries Retrograde and Why I'm Crap at Telling You When Mr./Ms. Right is Going to Show Up...

So the big astro news for March (to me, anyway) is the Venus retrograde in Aries. Venus goes retrograde once every 18 months for around 40 - 43 days. The current retrograde begins the evening of March 5, 2009 at 15 degrees Aries and ends April 16/17 (12:35 a.m. MST) at 29 degrees Pisces.

As I said in a previous post, this is significant because 29 degrees Pisces is the last degree of the zodiac. We're also experiencing the final layers of the Piscean Era, in general. So big Piscean "finishing" energy wrapped up with the "fresh start" energy of Aries.

(Quick recap for beginners - a retrograde happens when, because of the movement of the planets, a planet appears from our perspective on Earth to stop in the sky and go backward, retracing the area from which it just came. The planet retraces degrees of the zodiac, then "stops" again, before appearing to move forward. A chance to adjust to shifting gears, shifting energies and internally recalibrate to progressing outer conditions.)

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the sign related to the individual self. Ruled by Mars, it relates to who we are and what we want. Personal desire. On the most fundamental level, it represents the desire to start again.

After going through the spiritual surrender and dissolution process of the 12th house/Pisces, Aries is where we scream forth in all our might with the raw, powerful will to live (birth). Movement begins again here. We come back into the physical body from the etheric realms and have another go at 'er. ;-)

Venus is the planet relating to things like love, beauty, relationships, what we need (including money), what we value and self-worth. It rules the opposite sign of Aries, Libra.

Libra is about being in relationship to. It seeks balanced, harmonious partnerships with equals. Aries is about the self. So Venus is in the opposite sign of its rulership while it is in Aries, and we are challenged to balance the needs of me with we. We are very aware of our own identities and what we personally want with Venus here, but we have to work with the identities and personal desires of those we are in relationship to in order to get anything done.

Those who generally subvert their own identities and personal desire/will for the sake of harmony in their relationships will be asked to rebalance this. And those who are used to getting their way with others just might not get it so easily. There is always a push and pull when it comes to working with polarity energy.

What we want now is: something new! A fresh, new direction in our relationships and a newly held place for us to be our ever-unfolding true selves within them. We want to be ourselves and to have that work within our relationships - no guilt, no subverting who we really are and what we really want and need.

With Venus in Aries, there is no more compromising ourselves for other people. Unless, of course, you're one of the people who never does the compromising. In that case, the exertion of the other's will might come as quite an affront.

This dynamic was quite apparent in February as we closed the store. I wasn't about to cater to ridiculous demands at this point (not that I ever do, but all the entitlement issues and bourgeois egos sort of bottlenecked last month). Telling horribly entitled mature soul types that they weren't going to get what they wanted (even with Visas and MasterCards at the ready) was pretty sweet, I must say! heh heh

There could be anger (Mars) involved in our relationships on both ends as we deal with balancing needs and wants during this retrograde. We'll see new facets of identity pushing forth in ourselves and in the people around us - surprising but also refreshing. A more powerful will, one we possibly didn't know was there.

And remember - Venus in Aries is most certainly about a fresh start for ourselves and those we're in relationship with, but the Venus retrograde is heading back to the last degree of the zodiac cycle, the degree where any unresolved crap (but also a great deal of spiritual wisdom) has accumulated - 29 degrees Pisces.

Pisces/12th House collects stuff from all the signs that came before. It's a bit of a last stop dumping ground, so anything about our relating/relations that was pushed into our subconscious to be dealt with "later"? Well...later will be Venus on that 29th degree. Mopping up the last messes before we can really push forward into something new in our way of relating with others. We'll be tested one last time here to make sure we REALLY got it, that we really have cleared out and bolstered ourselves around any old Piscean pitfalls.

Venus will station (appear to stop and then turn to move forward again) on this 29th degree, so we're challenged to show mastery with these final Piscean lessons from April 11 to 23.

We're getting it from Venus both coming and going!

One side of the coin will be related to holding the energy of our new consciousness in the face of the old Piscean energy nipping at us, looking for blind spots, weaknesses and ways to get in and sabotage. These dynamics will primarily be set up in our relations with other people. Having the self-worth to say: I want something new and better in my relationships! No more old stuff that's past its expiry date. No more falling for those too-good-to-be-true mirages in our relations with others. No more wishful thinking about the other person or our relationship with them that only ends up screwing us over. No more setting ourselves up for victimization from another...or to do the victimizing. We have to become fully aware of all those old blind spots and seal them up once and for all.

The other side of the coin of retro Venus at 29 Pisces is related to being infused with the masterful spiritual understanding, connection and unconditional love that sign has to offer. To bring this spiritual love, compassion and understanding of ourselves and others into our daily relationships as we go forward.

Any relationships begun recently will have this backdrop going on...some past completion/clearing before you get to the exciting part.

After coming out of Pisces April 23 (under the umbrella of wrapping up tail-end Piscean Age stuff), Venus in Aries really isn't going to take any crap from anyone. Feisty!

Relationships that can't handle who you really are will be left in the dust. With love!

Venus doesn't clear its retrograde shadow until May 20, so nothing completely new until then. However, when Venus goes direct April 16, we'll be raring to go with the new insight we have gained into ourselves and how we interact in well as a deeper understanding (from that 29 degree Pisces work) of relationships past and why things went the way they did.

If we receive carefully the love retrograde Venus is trying to give us through this understanding, we should truly have a clean slate as we move forward. Best case scenario, we should be able to clear all the cycles before this one and send them on their way with love. These are the monumental times we're living in! Just think about completing everything there ever was to complete in your relationships (even through ancestral lines) and moving forward from that. We'll be assisted to do so.

Venus Retro Breakdown:

February 1, 2009 - Venus entered its retrograde shadow at 29 degrees Pisces (so we go back over the degrees starting from this point)
March 5, 2009 - Venus goes retrograde at 15 degrees Aries - RETROGRADE BEGINS
April 11, 2009 - Venus hits 29 degrees Pisces going retrograde
April 16, 2009 - Venus stations direct at 29 degrees Pisces - RETROGRADE ENDS
April 23, 2009 - Venus re-enters Aries
May 20, 2009 - Venus clears the retrograde shadow at 15 degrees Aries and we enter new territory

The Spring Equinox occurs March 20 as the Sun leaves Pisces and enters Aries. Here is that Arien birth point again. We've made it out of winter. Life begins again. The days are longer than the nights (in the Northern Hemisphere) from here on in.

There is a very interesting New Moon in Aries March 26. The Sun and Moon come together at 6 degrees Aries conjunct retrograde Venus. Mercury is also in Aries at this time and takes part in the conjunction. The sunshine hits retrograde Venus and we become conscious of, feel and understand what is newly being born in ourselves and in our relationships.

This is a double dose of fresh, "new start" energy. Because this New Moon is in Aries conjunct retro Venus, we should be able to take our first steps into our new selves within our relationships here. A burst of forward motion tailored to us. I know a lot of people (including me) have been feeling stuck, and I hope this New Moon helps propel us out of the shadows.

Then again, I generally feel at a standstill when it comes to Venus/relationship issues, which leads me to the second part of this post: why I'm crap at telling people when Mr./Ms. Right is going to show up...

Now, I completely understand that when consulting someone like an astrologer (or, in a similar vein, a tarot reader, psychic, any kind of reader, actually), people REALLY want to know when their mate is coming along. This is important information and information I really wish I could provide.

I was born with Venus Retrograde in Scorpio in the 4th House. Not only that, but Venus went retrograde one day before I was born, meaning Venus is basically standing still in my birth chart. In Scorpio. Retrograde. In the 4th House. :-)

Anyway, for those of you wondering what all that means, let's just say that I have an atypical experience of Venus. Because of this atypical experience, I'm not the best with more traditional analysis of Venus and relationships - things people commonly want analyzed.

My personal relationships are generally extremely dharmic/karmic and are related to evolutionary desire more so than what I think I want. All my relationships have to be reframed within that context (sigh) with a looooooong, long range vision of what is going on. Using a progressed chart, I'll be dealing with this Venus in Scorpio retrograde and its shadow my entire life. Nothing else. So when I say I have very little free will this lifetime...this is a big part of it.

Unless I want to attract relationships that are irritating at best, damaging and maybe even life-threatening at worst, it's best for me to just deal with and process this stuff inside myself when the universe says so. (4th House)

It's not that there aren't people I like in the's just that once we actually start interacting face-to-face, things generally go awry in that alchemically Scorpionic kind of way.

I think this also relates to Pluto in Libra, in general, in that our generation has to do a whole hell of a lot of work on the front end of these lifetimes to experience, break down, and process out stultifying, abusive and "just not right" relationship dynamics of all sorts. And we attract a whole hell of a lot of relationships designed to be vehicles to do just that...which often doesn't allow for much of the lovey good feelings that Venus is traditionally associated with.

So basically, I can tell you what the purpose of you NOT being in a relationship is. I can talk about the soul growth, the alignment going on and the love you're showing yourself and others long-term by processing things in yourself. I can talk about the internal masculine-feminine rebalancing that is going on these days.

I personally experience the sometimes primal scream-worthy frustration of these conditions, so I can commiserate about the isolation and disappointment and constant experience of waiting, waiting, waiting.

But this information is small comfort, and I realize that.

I can't tell you when Mr. or Ms. Right is going to show his/her lovely face. I really wish I could because that's what we all want to know.

All I can say is I've learned that these trials do have a purpose, even when it feels as if they're going to kill you and/or drive you insane. I can't offer the comfort of saying he or she is just around the corner because I just don't know. I'm not 100% sure how long the solitary confinement will last.

But I can say that I think Pluto in Libras (and anyone taking on this type of soul work) have the possiblity of creating the most beautiful, deeply loving and meaningful relationships this planet has ever seen. That we can bring forward human relations and love relationships truly befitting this beautiful planet - ones that allow for our further mutual soul growth, rather than following patterns and forms that bring misery and dissatisfaction. I strongly feel it's all possible. It's just that we have to work our little hearts out for it. :-)

I read an astrologer on the Web a long time ago saying Libra is a sign that has difficulty finding its true mate. I guess that could be true...and true for the entire generation of Pluto in Libras.

Of course, there are exceptions to this. Many people find their heart's desire relationships early on in life.

But I've always been a person who saves the best for last and gets the hard work out of the way I'm banking on this being the case with relationships, as well.

Another interesting point about this Venus retrograde (brought up by a few other astrologers on the Web - thanks for pointing this out) is that the last time Venus was retrograde in Aries was March/April of 2001.

So take a look at what was going on in your life relationship-wise at that time, and this retro should involve events showing us how we've progressed since then. I guess this Venus retro in Aries could be seen as the release of that cycle...

This really interested me because March/April 2001 was when I met my last boyfriend. That relationship was one of those sometimes blissful, moretimes hellish Scorpionic/Plutonic clearing vehicles for abusive past dynamics. So it'll be interesting to see if anything comes up...if I meet anyone...that will show me where I stand now. It'll be interesting for all of us to see that.