Sunday, August 10, 2008

Chiron Conjunct North Node in Aquarius...

This aspect is exact today but strong through December 2008...

This aspect means having to deal with the wound related to leading people/the community into the future. Having to continue that leadership into the new, even under duress. Taking a stand for true liberty and egalitarianism while still getting screwed over by the current hierarchy and the control structures within it. Bringing forth new ideas that are sometimes shocking to the establishment, to the powers-that-be or to more traditional mindsets and being ostracized and attacked for doing so. Being the odd one out, the one who is vilified because we won't fall into line within the old structures. Always having to take the high road, even when it's the loneliest place to be, staying detached from petty human crap.

And at the same time, knowing that we must continue. We are the catalysts and we can't let up, even while others attack, denigrate or attempt to diminish what we are doing and saying. We keep going because there is nowhere to fall back on. There is nowhere left to hide or escape to. We keep moving because we aren't there yet. We have to get where we're going because the alternative is not one we can live with.

It doesn't mean hunkering down in the current structures, learning how to capitalize and capitalizing. It doesn't mean tweaking around the edges to "progressive" while still working the same old hierarchy, the same old control structures. It means going beyond where we are now, not taking the roads laid out for us but blazing our own trails, new trails.

Chiron in Aquarius is the wound of the visionary. Conjunct the North Node, it means continuing to move toward our vision despite the wounds we receive along the way.

I hesitate to use the word "visionary" here because I notice a lot of people self-declaring as visionaries these days. It's a trendy sort of thing. But I think a true visionary just lives the vision, come hell or high water. It doesn't have anything to do with the label. And I'm not sure it's something one can label oneself with much validity, anyway.

Today, I think I figured out what Chiron in Aquarius means to me in these end-of-Pisces-era times. The past two work situations I've experienced have illustrated Willow's Chiron in Aquarius experience very well.

See, I'm quite attuned to where we're going. Where we are is inadequate to me in a lot of different ways, so I've always been about working to create something better, liberating from the oppressive - wherever I am, in whatever structures I'm working within.

And the last two small business owners I've worked for/with were more than willing to fill their businesses' sails with my Aquarian ideas. See, people can feel the energy of the new. They get excited by it and think they want in on the action - especially business owners, it seems, who are always looking for the next new thing. And these business owners were more than happy to use my ideas, energy and direction to benefit themselves and their businesses. To follow my lead as new life was breathed into their business structures. But when the Aquarian direction took them to the place where they themselves would have to change, well, that's where it got stuck. That's where my leadership started being not so fun. At the point where the owners would have to change their ways, their use of control, maybe their entire ideologies, and take on some personal responsibility for the change (Aquarius is traditionally ruled by Saturn - the responsibility that comes with freedom and new ways). The direction in which we were going challenged them personally, and apparently, that wasn't part of the bargain. They hitched their wagons to the Aquarian winds of change, but only to the extent that it would give them an edge on the competition within the current structures.

See, a truly egalitarian business paradigm doesn't really exist in the current capitalist system. We would have to create it as we go. Capitalism is based on owners and workers. Those who own, control and dictate. Those who work for the owners can have the appearance of control over their work, ideas and energy, but only to a point.

At the point where their ideas, leadership or skills become an ego threat to the power of the owner, that's where the egalitarianism generally ends. At the point where the ideas/desires of the workers clash with those of the owners, well, that's where we get off the "everyone counts equally" ride. That's where ownership has its privileges, and the owners can fall back into the safety and security of the money-based hierarchy and the power they have within it.

Now, this is to be expected, you would probably say. We live in a capitalist society. Business owners are in charge because they own the business; they control the money. What they say goes.

Which is true, I suppose (within the current establishment). However, if you are working within the capitalist hierarchy and are benefitting from the control structures therein, you have to be honest about that. You can't have it both ways. You can't promote an image of being a truly egalitarian business, using that image as a competitive edge, when in reality, it's just the same old capitalist hierarchy dressed up all pretty with a recycled, vegetable-dyed bow on top.

Well, again, you CAN do this under the system of capitalism, not so much if one is committed to and personally responsible for living true to the Aquarian vision. And I think here is the difference - those who are willing to take responsibility for walking the walk. It's a matter of living the freedom ideal, living the egalitarian vision, being committed to it. There is no fallback into the old system. And that is what a real visionary is to me. Someone who won't break under pressure, who won't sell out the vision to the highest bidder. Who takes the knocks from the establishment and the rest of the community but keeps going. Who lives the ideal because there is no other way to live.

Both business owners in question believed themselves to be quite progressive, quite ahead of the pack, not like other businesses. Which was true if you were comparing them to other businesses within the old, hierarchical paradigm. Not true if you were holding them to a truly Aquarian ideal. So again, commendable that they did things differently from your average corporation or small business. But they are/were still trying to have things both ways - benefit from the progressive image while not going all the way, not making it a true, core reality.

At the point where it was going to mean REAL change, well, that's when they exerted their ownerly powers and I was left with my face in the dirt.

That's when they let me know in no uncertain terms that they were, indeed, the ones in control. I could lead as long as it benefitted them without them having to make too many changes, but when it came time to commit, their allegiance was with the old, comfy control structures. I was still under their thumb and the equals thing was just for play. To prove this, they broke out the personal attacks, the denigration of my work, the denial that I had even done anything. They could do this, of course, because they held/hold the purse strings, and ownership has its privileges.

So I guess my Chiron in Aquarius point is this: you can't work the same old money-driven capitalist hierarchies where the owner controls all while putting forth the image of being beyond that. A true Aquarian wouldn't be content to use the force of the new to cement his or her personal power in the old structures. Aquarian ideas and energy are about carrying us beyond the current structures, but this energy is being hijacked in a lot of ways. People are talking the talk of the Aquarian ideal but walking the walk of the old ways.

Those of us committed to living the Aquarian vision will continue to be wounded in these ways, I guess. (Chiron in Aquarius) But those wounds teach us. I learned to be smarter about who I get involved with and what guidance I give to people floundering in the increasingly ineffective old structures. I'm learning how to navigate the two paradigms without being used to further old dynamics that I'm attempting to move beyond. And without becoming the naive, sacrificial Piscean lamb.

And that's the beauty of Chiron. We get dose after dose of salt in the wound, and eventually we get stronger and smarter there. We figure it out.


Matthew The Astrologer said...

Well written AND you live in the same town I do... I added you to my blog roll. Nice work!

lyra2feathers said...

I came across your site because I was exploring how chiron conj node led to the split atom and how now we have the Hadron collider about to go off. Then I read about what happened to you with work and how your bosses treated you. The exact same thing happened to me on Aug 11. The same senario, that left me glad I was living true to the Aquarian ideal but wounded all the same. Your views have really helped and made me realise that I was doing the right thing even though I am now jobless. The chiron north node conjunction is conjuct my moon and of course Neptune is there too. Thanks for being there.

Linda said...

Hi Willow,

Another Aquarian here, I could not agree with you more. My natal north node is in the sixth house and it seems all my life I have had to be a change agent for the companies I work in. My Chiron is actually conjunct my south node in Pisces so I end up being the sacrificial lamb most of the time. But the current transits are bringing the need for me to accept my role as change agent to the surface. I can't effect change when I allow myself to be victimized. Like you, I have to use discrimination and communication to choose my battles and find a way to be true to my Aquarian ideals without losing the support of those I work for and with.

LB said...

Hi Willow - I found your site after googling Chiron conjunct North Node (the descriptions for the parallel were sorely lacking), and I'm surprised at how similar these two aspects seem to be. I have Chiron in Aquarius (in the 6th) opposite Uranus in Leo (in the 12th). And my Chiron closely parallels (within a degree) both my 2nd house Sun and North Node.

I'm still recovering from the after effects of my Chiron-Return, and I feel more alien now than ever. I know there must be a place for me, but it always feels like such a struggle; it's become crystal clear to me that most people don't want to "know" past a certain point.

Most people in positions of power like me, even if they don't necessarily agree with me, but like the previous commentor, I've also been made the scapegoat (something I speak up against). Earlier in life, I would quit a job because of scapegoating, only to have the very same thing happen in the next place. Eventually, I just settled in and tried to make peace, but that peace came at a price.

Before my return, I always tried to be diplomatic in sharing my insights, but I'm realizing more and more that I just don't fit in, nor can I remain silent. The irony is that my insights are not all that radical, they just require a bit more mindfulness and a bit more effort.

I'm glad I found your site.

Willow said...

I'm glad you did, too, LB. :-)

Jason said...

Really amazing read this just sums up my friendships too.

People love my aquarian sense and brotherly compassion until i tell em liking it is one thing- but being my/a friend requires you to change. Or i just get bored if i see no progression.

Everyone is shocked that i dont pay taxes to put urainium bullets into childerens heads. Or just question taxes in general. I work off the books, well sorta its on the books i cash a check. But come hell or high water when i can decide to put my taxes where i want. Towards peace instead of war. Then and only then -ameican government, will i do business with you. Until then they can all fuck off. Lock me up if u want at least ill die with my morals intact.

They hardly lock up the average joe anyway but seriously if everyone demanded a tax transparancy reciept. Or just dont pay. Well who said this is an aquarian country, i can dream cant i? ol slow progressor of familial worship to human family realizations Cancer..

-aquarian stuck in a cancer nation.