Thursday, November 17, 2011

My Black Moon Lilith in Leo Would Like to Say Something...


Painting: Black Moon Lilith by Willow

I don't believe in celebrity. It's from the age of the dinosaurs and big, clunky, gas-guzzling cars, in my mind.

There's no credential, accolade, or association that could really impress me all that much.

We all star in our own lives, and every minute we're not doing that is a minute wasted, a minute diverted.

I know how good this blog is. I know I'm a good astrologer. And that's all I need to know. I'm not sure why I would need the validation of anyone else to prove that to myself or to my readers. It should be apparent by now, yes?

It's always nice when someone enjoys your work, but it doesn't really change anything. I'm not being discovered. I've been here all along, doing this work for a good long while now, and I imagine I will be here doing this work for a while to come. I don't need to be put under anyone's wing. I don't need to be taught anyone else's style of astrology. I don't need to fit into anyone else's scene. I'm not looking for a teacher or a mentor or to be someone's protege or muse. I'm not looking to kiss any asses or prop up any egos. I'm no one's clay to be moulded. Chronological age has very little to do with it.

These are all things I've encountered in subtle ways over the past few years when coming into contact with other astrologers, mostly well-meaning older men who consider themselves better established than I.

Perhaps on this earthly plane...

The truth is, I don't fit into any existing established scene, astrological or otherwise, primarily because most of them are hierarchical/patriarchal and do not permit the true radical feminine perspective or the true radical woman as equal within their confines. The egalitarian Aquarian thing is a very, very early work in progress across the board at this point, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise...

This is difficult on one hand. On the other hand, though, it's pretty fucking great, as it keeps me free, developing on exactly the right trajectory, doing exactly the right work and exactly the right readings, and that's the only way it can be. If I can't speak freely, there's absolutely no point in continuing. I won't alter myself or what I say in any way to fit a role, and I won't accept readings that aren't mine to do for the money.

I'm unaffiliated because I really believe that's the only place for me to be.

I don't think there are many astrologers who go to the depths I do, who see and communicate as clearly, who are as unencumbered.

And the more unencumbered I am, the more potent the work.

I don't court a big scene because, honestly, it's not worth the hassle. The size of the audience is not necessarily the prime indicator of success, in my mind, and the fact that this blog grows very slowly is not an indicator that it is in any way a failure. The slow growth is actually a good thing. Things are being very carefully cultivated, plain and simple. I'm not a highly prolific astrologer, either in writing or in readings. When your perspective is deep and under pressure, extricating and exposing embedded things, it's not possible to run wide open. I think very gradual and sustained growth is the best foundation for me to be a professional astrologer with staying power.

It's important for me to hit my marks, to do the work I'm here to do and to do it well, and to say the things that need to be said - anything outside that is not really my need to know. How many people are reading is not much of a concern. It's more important that the right people are reading, the people who can appreciate and utilize the writing and astrological perspective here and the people who can benefit from my readings. I think I have that, and it's increasing over time, so, to me, the blog is already (and always has been) a complete success.

29 comments:

Willow said...

Unrelated: From Dlisted.com today:

"Every time an asshole signs off with "love and light," hate and darkness eats a kitten."

Alicia C said...

Not to be too fatalistic about it, but, if you happen to tap into a wound or need of the collective in any way, you are sort of fated to a form of celebrity, or leadership capacity if nothing else. This can bring glory, responsibility, self-actualization, etc, but it will inevitably bring all sorts of messy things as well:

If you have something i need developed and lacked, and through some weird way you have managed to fulfill it, I will invariably want to come back. Not only that, but i will become, in a word, dependent on what you do, say, or are. You in essence will become a mother to me - to whatever in me is striving to be born.

I understand the mistrust and distaste. 'Absolute power corrupts absolutely'. you don't want to be put on a pedestal. You don't want to be dirtied by others' projections and messy-messy stuff, which they ought to be working out for themselves, as you have. But at some level, is it really so bad to claim the title of champion or leader of a new way? this sorry world sure needs some of that

NotSamuelJackson said...

willow, you're like the Honey Badger of astrology.

Oh you don't know who the Honey Badger is? Honey Badger doesn't give a shit you don't know who Honey Badger is!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

which is why you're the Honey Badger of astrology.

Willow said...

HA! Oh, NotSamuel. You funny. The Honey Badger of astrology? Yeah, I'll accept that. He really doesn't give a shit, does he? That narration = priceless.

Alicia C, I do think a person can lead in certain ways without gaining or courting celebrity. It's a separate thing, I think, and you have to allow yourself to be put there, you know? I think the best forms of leadership (especially Aquarian era forms) require absolute self-responsibility. Like, here's the way. I can outline it for you. I can be beside you as you go. I can go first. I can talk you through it. But I won't go for you. And I won't allow you to abnegate your responsibility by projecting onto me that I'm so fab because I figured it out and got there.

The Mama stuff is getting the whole Plutonic strip-down over the next 15 years.

Everyone's life is epic during these times if they take it on. That maybe sounds pat, but that's the scene.

Willow said...

But what I was saying about celebrity is basically that a fuck I do not give as far as big numbers, big names, big publicity, big play. That whole scene can go screw a Honey Badger.

Anonymous said...

Gee, you are are so freaking amazing, Willow.

Willow said...

I hope that isn't sarcasm, Anon. Even if it is...Honey Badger wouldn't care.

Willow said...

I'll even post this asshole because that's how much Honey Badgers don't give a shit.

Never coming back? Thank you, astrological filtration system.

I love myself (the main thing), and that doesn't make me a narcissist. Lots of other people love me, too. But if you want to work the "unloved narcissist" angle, have at 'er.

Good old Black Moon Lilith contacts. The bitch everyone loves to hate. She just wants to speak her mind, get some stuff off her chest, and she gets called an unloved, lame hat and lipstick-wearing narcissist for her trouble.

(In case anyone is wondering, the astrologer at a site called Planet Waves asked to re-post my Mars in Virgo article. This has resulted in some cross traffic. Most has been good. Some not so.)

Anonymous said...

Oh How I love you J. I can always count on you to be REAL. Don't you ever change.

Respect always,
!Lo

Anonymous said...

Dear anon from planet waves: thank you,DON'T come back. We don't need you and we certainly don't want you. Willow is the GODDESS. End of story.

Jonalea aka Lea said...

Willow, forgot to tell you (in my email) that I LOVE the art at the beginning of this post. Next, to enter this thread, Honey Badger you are, and what an honor to be part of that tribe, and your leading by being true to yourself is the most amazing and diffeicult form of leadership that there is. And you are it. You are Gold, Girl.

Willow said...

Well, I can see how the picture might rub someone the wrong way as prima donna-ish if they don't know me. But I was just playing around with a new sun hat I got this summer and trying different angles on the web cam. I mean, who doesn't mess around on a web cam once in a while? I rarely wear make-up, and I hate the cult of image, so yeah...

And there's some self-promotion in this post, but does it go to narcissism (nice two-bit Psych 101 word that is constantly thrown around these days)? Hardly. Rarely, if ever, is there an excessive amount of self-promotion on this blog. That even causes problems sometimes because people come on here and treat me like a fledgling or like a charity case.

So once in a while, I have to exert myself on this front, and it's usually when BML needs to pipe up. I respect that bitch, so you know, it's fine by me if she says her piece.

Deb said...

Um, yeah. You're wonderful and you most certainly have the right readers enjoying and supporting your work.

Have you seen the internet-warrior types that show up at other blogs, in packs, and cause problems for astrolgers who survive on popularity? It's annoying (and sometimes amusing).

You have the right goals, your heart's in what you do, you don't take shit from people, so you're on the right track. And, yes, you may have a douchebag or two show up at times, but you don't waste your life away bitching about them and allowing them to make you feel inferior. You cut and move-- it's mature and wise.

I really like this blog, and this post. This post makes me feel awesome about the chances I've taken to continue on, without caring for the support of superficial morons. Whenever I'd taken chances like that, I was called names that come close to 'idiot' and didn't I "care about what others thought-- people talk."

Nope. Names can hurt sometimes, but in the grand scheme of things, I don't care what others think when I inwardly know that I'm going to be fine, and that I'm doing the right thing.

Stay awesome,
Deb

P.S. D-Listed and the Superficial are fun sites :).

Deb said...

For you: one of my favorite images ever...

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljjvm8wllR1qieq98o1_400.jpg

Willow said...

Julie Andrews knows, man. She knows.

NotSamuelJackson said...

It's a toss up to me which beasty is more worthy of being worshipped as a God: the honey badger *or* the mouse who kicked the ass of a cobra following a 30 minutes of hand-to-hand (Hand to fang?) combat:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/3353107/Mouse-bites-snake-to-death.html

PS

@Anon: door, ass, your way out, pile o' monkey crap on the sidewalk on your way home.

Willow said...

GO, MOUSE! That has to be one of the best underdog comes out on top stories ever.

Someone just left a comment refering to me as a know-it-all.

I'm not a know-it-all, but I do know what I know.

Deb said...

You may not know it all, no one does, but you sure know way way more than fluffy astrolgers do.

"Haters goin' hate"!

Damn them, damn it.

Thomistic Methods said...

Dearest W and Company,

The space here sticks out a mile like a lotus from the load of cluttering crap on the net.

Willow, you are amazing and I resonate to your pluto integrity thingy. I've been trying to learn a bit about astrology and find it organically elegant and useful. After 20 years of reading astrology I looked a Scorpio straight in the eye at work last night and said "you are a Scorpio". Always wanted to do that.

Trying not to sound presumptuous, I think you are the first astrologer I would like to have a session with. Integrity is a lonely path and the unsung backbone holding up the mirror to the head of Medusa. Ask Diogenes.

Thanks to all here.
Tim,
Devil's Peak,
Cape of Storms.

Lady Longstride said...

sooo grateful to have been led to your writings....
"doing...exactly the right readings"
seriously girl, the insight gained is epic

been meaning to subscribe since the option came up but this post just solidified it

love your work

Willow said...

I always feel a little sheepish when a post garners so many nice comments like these (in addition to the standard others calling me a know-it-all, unloved narcissist, etc.) because I don't want it to seem as if I'm milking you guys for support (not the intent).

Basically, I have to exert myself in certain ways regardless of back-up - and unfortunately, even if it pisses off some of the people who like me - but it's ever-so-nice when back-up appears seemingly out of nowhere. So thank-you.

And thanks for the reference to Diogenes, Tim. I didn't know of him as I've been turned off traditionally taught/furthered philosophy for obvious reasons.

Anonymous said...

My 2 cents re. the 'narcissism' stuff...From the non-full face photos and tiny photo of yourself you have up, it's clear that you're really beautiful! If you were a narcissist, you'd be using that to 'sell' your words...but you're not doing that. That's integrity.

I think that poster sounded like your basic garden-variety misogynist. This is just the kind of undermining knee-jerk reaction you get for being a strong woman. It's just so blatant and shitty, it's amazing.

Anyway, screw that moron, and thank you for doing what you do. It's really helpful. (And I happen to like the hat and the lipstick...classy dame!)

Willow said...

Ah, thanks for that sentiment.

I was a late bloomer. Quite overweight and fairly unattractive in late childhood and early adolescence, and I was bullied miserably. So when I say that I despise the emphasis humans put on appearance, I really mean it. I especially can't stand the Neptunian gloss and the manipulation of appearance through media. It's truly pathological and getting worse with digital cameras and social media.

Beauty, to me, doesn't make you feel jealous or 'less than' when you behold it. That's glamour and the energy of beauty as some sort of (false) hierarchy. "Who's the fairest of them all?" shit. Mostly male-created for the male gaze. Keeps women insecure and battling for supremacy as far as male attention.

At the same time, once in a while I like to do myself up just to beat the bastards at their own game.

Jason said...

I always come here looking for astrology sans confection sugar. Im not as versed but as passionate to interpret the way you do willow. I have a gemini 11 th so my hopes are always morphing causing me to dabble here and there. Scorpio moon keeps in deep and 3rd house pluto keeps me appriciating this site. You have a place in the plutonian ruled. Thats the lesson of pluto not to fit in with said group ive read and feel. Let the sugar astrologers warm up the starters.. They cant handle it yet, let them move dinner dates, doctors appointments and superficial self praise when none is warrented for not having, ( energetic respoinsibility) a word u taught me. :)

While we do the deep innerwork, its fine seems everyone is where there supposed to be with what they can handle..

And Your picture is far from myspace facebook esque. Its you being yourself, women have the right to dress how they want.

I wish i could donate but im jobless now and unemployed like so many others. But i know willow knows the importance of helping others and getting the truth out.
I have a sun pluto trine im quite proud of and i can tell without telling so to speak. I aspire to know as much,

I like the idea of celebs dying with the pluto in leo generation, but im afraid too many scared of time being on there hands geminis are never going to let that go away. I always see them as the main makers and contributors of celeb culture leo is more than happy to oblige.
But it can be put in a better place. Some are here to play more than work, some look like they work more by producing material things. But the universe values the unseen deep inner work more im sure.

I think the best idols teach u there not, and that u have the same light inside. Im happy to share this planetary timescale with you willow.

Willow said...

Thanks, Jason. Yeah, I think things split into two crowds now quite sharply as far as celebrity. Those who want it dead (and who actively live like it) and those who want it furthered (probably the people who want to be celebs themselves, when you get right down to it).

CultOfTheHoneyBadger said...

If you're upset that this post has garnered too many nice comments then here goes, since you mentioned not liking neptunian conceptions of beauty.

Woman you need to be eating BEEF. Grass fed, humanely raised, local grown of course. Seriously, you're lookin' kind of scrawny in those photos which would not be a problem but dammit bitch we're in the Pluto-in-Capricorn years, you're gonna need the extra weight to see yourself through whatever gmo-clone-agri-chemical bubble fuck wave of hell that TPTB are gonna unleash on us once they realize "the jig's up boyz". The extra weight would help you survive the bad years until organic systems and the earth priestess class can regain a foothood.

Not being Neptunian here, this is just Virgo/Scorpio: practical advice related to survival. It would suck if you didn't make to the end when there's communes and earth priestess and other cool shit going on. So there you have it: BEEF

/nice sun hat

//jewelry's cool too

Willow said...

HAAAA!

I'm on it, CultOfTheHoneyBadger. My humanely-raised beef guy delivers through the winter.

CultOfTheHoneyBadger said...

"My humanely-raised beef guy delivers through the winter."

I'm sure he does . . .

msfullroller said...

'..That's glamour and the energy of beauty as some sort of (false) hierarchy. "Who's the fairest of them all?" shit. Mostly male-created for the male gaze. Keeps women insecure and battling for supremacy as far as male attention."

Priceless response Sis and right on time!