And this is not to be depressing, negative, or pessimistic, all you non-Plutonics out there. It's just reality. If you don't go through these processes, if you don't live them on a daily basis, I don't think you could understand it. I know the same can be said for a lot of situations and conditions people live through - you don't understand it until you live it. I understand we all have our difficulties to bear. And I know there are other planets, dwarf or otherwise, that bring their own forms of misery. Uranus and Neptune both create almost impossibly difficult circumstances of their own, as do many others.
But this is an over-riding, day-to-day truth that all Plutonics have to work - hard - to accept. That we're pretty much alone with it, especially amongst people who are happily living outside a full awareness of what we're working with.
There's a difference between a Pluto transit to one of your natal planets or a transiting planet in Scorpio touching off a Plutonic hell-ride and having a natal Sun, Moon, or stellium in Scorpio or a tight natal aspect to Pluto. I know the transits are unbelievably harsh at times, but they will pass. Your natal chart won't.
So with Juno opposite Pluto in Capricorn and Saturn on its way to Libra right now, I'm pondering these issues and trying to come up with some perspective, mostly unsuccessfully.
How to create successful (Capricorn) and soul-satisfying (Pluto/Juno) relationships with non-Plutonic people. How to keep your shit to yourself, your unending processing to yourself, but at the same time find the day-to-day love, sharing, acceptance, mutuality, and intimacy desired within a real relationship. Because Plutonic types need that. If they don't have it, they'll stay out of relationships altogether.
How to keep from envying or resenting those who don't have to slog quite so heavily though the Plutonic muck, which would put an end to any kind of mutuality or equality that could have been. (Yes, I know, we should all be able to rise above these base human emotions. Tra-la-la. Easier said than done.)
And how to find the strength, energy, and courage to love the other person as they need to be loved while simultaneously going through all this craziness.
How to even believe you deserve another person's love and affection when you're at your most hell-tastic, exhausted, and repulsive, when your energetic being feels like a series of nuclear explosions going off, when the nuclear fallout is coursing through your system, removing layers that you really actually thought you were going to need. Erupting volcanoes painfully twisting and morphing your elemental structure into something Pluto finds more pleasing, for as long as it deems necessary.
And when you're mourning for those lost layers, those released selves, those versions of yourself that you really, actually liked. Those hoped-for versions of life and relationships and planetary conditions that you held, deeply cherished, as secret in your heart. Because maybe if you kept them secret and very, very quiet and told no one but yourself, Pluto would leave those ones alone.
Nope.
T'was not to be.
And when you've gently kissed those other versions of yourself goodbye and guided them into their places in the constellation that is you beyond this Earthly plane, how to trust that there is someone who could love what's left of you, to love it how it needs to be loved. And how to trust that you have enough left in you to love them.
How to trust that another person could hold you how you need to be held, without adding any more shit to the heaping plate you've already been served by God or fate or the universe or your natal chart or the gung-ho mission you're got for yourself on this planet.
How to trust that the depth of acceptance necessary would be there for you in a sustained way.
It's a rough one, even with other Plutonic types.
With Saturn soon to be conjuncting all the natal Plutos of the Pluto in Libra generation, this is topical.
There is a certain element of this Plutonic stuff that makes relationships seem almost unfathomable at times. But it's relationships we Pluto in Libras are here for. Truly a case of what nourishes us also destroys us.
I often feel like an alchemical chain reaction instead of a person, especially these days.
I remember when I was younger and I realized for the first time that I was energy - that this physical form was not really what I am. It made me cry because I knew that that realization had changed everything. Me knowing that meant I would never be "normal." I would never have the understanding and awareness of being human that most people had, and I knew how isolating that was going to be.
Having a strong Scorpionic or Plutonic signature in your chart often means that you will be dragged through hell - sometimes off and on, sometimes seemingly continuously - during your lifetime on this planet. You will be aware, often painfully so, of underlying realities that other people remain blissfully unaware of. That's part of the burden and part of what makes it so heavy. You will often crave relief from your conditions to such an extent that you wish to no longer be here on this planet traipsing through them. It's not a death wish. Most of us don't want to die. It's just an all-encompassing desire to no longer live through this particular brand of isolating misery. Simply put. And these days, with energetic warfare at full tilt, it's not uncommon to feel like a sick, irradiated animal who just wants to crawl off into the shade of a tree somewhere and wait for it to pass.
Pretty hot, huh? Pretty sexy?
And all this is pretty fucking heavy, especially for those who do not live in such conditions or awareness. We Plutonics get that. We get that it's tricky to be around us at times. Hell, WE don't want to be around us at times.
And so all this complexity. How to work with all this complexity in relationship to other people.
I don't think we have to come up with all the answers at this point. Saturn transiting Libra and then Scorpio will bring this all into play.
I guess we're just getting a preview with Juno in Cancer opposite Pluto at 4 Capricorn - the degree of the upcoming eclipse/cardinal t-square, squaring Jupiter and Uranus in Aries. The cardinal t-square's in full effect.
The Sun enters Cancer June 21 at 5:28 a.m. Mountain.
Mercury enters Cancer June 25 at 4:32 a.m.
Full Moon in Capricorn in cardinal t-square formation June 26 at 5:30 a.m.
I wouldn't be expecting much restful sleep.
15 comments:
Hi Willow. I read a lot of articles and blogs, yet this piece you just wrote really touches the depth and swirl of things I do not only feel now, but have been feeling my whole life. It is comforting to read that I'm not the only one feeling alienated or oh so dark sometimes when I know I'm only trying to cope with the inevitable brooming bottom of things, just because I see them and yes, all the while wishing I could be blessed with a more superficial view on life and yes, sometimes to the point I crave to escape it all by just flying off to an astral dimension. I read a lot on how the Cardinal Cross urges us to get conscious on what our highest purpose is, urging us to rise to that specific task/path. In thinking that one through, I only feel like I have always been in people's lives to help them transform or somehow assistent them in some transition period, yet, I always feel very abandoned and alone in struggling through my own transits and I can't help but feeling punished, betrayed and ignored because of this. It doesn't seem fair to me. I'm happy to be able to be a significant help in others' life altering momentum, but particularly on the relationship front, it seems like no one is willing to meet my transformative needs on that level. Anyway, thank you for posting this article!!! I have scoprio rising and the 8th house well covered in my natal chart.
Aaah this makes sense. I have Sun/merc/saturn in close prox in early Scorp and Pluto on 29 Libra... so yeah been living with this all my life. But what's interesting is I haven't been keeping up with the astro happenings in the past few weeks... the cardinal T thing kinda crept up on me. I felt ill yesterday for no real reason, and still do, and that prompted me to come on here and check what was up. Now I get it.
"How to create successful (Capricorn) and soul-satisfying (Pluto/Juno) relationships with non-Plutonic people. How to keep your shit to yourself, your unending processing to yourself, but at the same time find the day-to-day love, sharing, acceptance, mutuality and intimacy desired within a real relationship. Because Plutonic types need that. If they don't have it, they'll stay out of relationships altogether. " --- This paragraph is me. My very heavy plutonics is confusing the hell out of my very happy-bouncy-puppy dog of a Sagg boyfriend. This has happened a few times over the past year and he seems to handle it ok. He doesn't try to dissect it, or 'fix' it, he just lets me be and lets me work through it. So far he has loved me still, each time i come through to the other side of this. Sometimes it frustrating that he doesn't really 'get' what i'm going through. But at other times I think that I wouldn't wish this on him! I'm just grateful that he sees that this is just something I personally have to work through. I just want him to stay near while I do this, and hold my hand and hold on to me when I need it.
Having said all that though, this is probably the worst it's been since I've been with him. I'm really struggling at the moment. Let's see how this turns out.
Aww, that's great that your happy-bouncy-puppy dog Sadge accepts it and deals with it so well! Yay, cloudy! That makes me hopeful.
And hang in there. We're all going through some major turbulence...I can't even believe it, at times, actually.
Thanks Willow.
Just realised something... I'm currently reading the last book in the 'Girl with the dragon tattoo' series... purely by chance.. happened to see it at a book shop last week and it's so rare to find a shop selling current books in English that i bough it. If you know what the books are about you'll know that it's very fitting that i'm reading that now... VERY Juno opposite Pluto!
Anon 3:16:
"I'm happy to be able to be a significant help in others' life altering momentum, but particularly on the relationship front, it seems like no one is willing to meet my transformative needs on that level."
Yeah, I think that is often a common denominator for people with a lot of Scorpio/Pluto, but I think we just need to keep pushing until we find those people who do have the mad skills and the ability to care for us the way we care for other people. It gets rough slogging it out on your own until then, though. I know how you feel.
"How to create successful (Capricorn) and soul-satisfying (Pluto/Juno) relationships with non-Plutonic people. How to keep your shit to yourself, your unending processing to yourself, but at the same time find the day-to-day love, sharing, acceptance, mutuality and intimacy desired within a real relationship."
Yup. I have Venus conjoined Pluto in my first house (and conjunct Mercury, and sextile Jup, Neptune and IC in Scorpio). It ain't easy. My progressed Sun, Venus and Mercury are now all in Scorpio too. My Leo Moon and Ascendant conjunct Uranus don't want to go there at all!
I've mostly been keeping my "processing" to myself, although my bf's Scorp Moon could probably handle it. Need to find a safe way to share it, 'cuz it's making me feel disconnected not bringing up my issues. But it's taken a long time to tease out those issues. (sigh) Thanks for this post - brought tears to my eyes.
Les
hi willow- wow, truly amazing what u said here. u just narrated the story of my life. i have saturn, mars and pluto in libra. not if jupiter in scorpio adds up to it but my life now is what you have just said. i wish it could have been different. i just wish.
anyway, ill keep reading ur blog.
ann
Hi Willow,
I check every day to see if you've blogged. I have the Sun, Mercury, Juno, and BML in Scorpio, as well as a Scorpio ascendant. Fun fun! In short I have always felt lonely and isolated. Your blog and your understanding are rays of hope and sunshine. I feel like I'm just beginning to find my place, spiritually, and that soon it will be 'our' time. Thank you for continuing to post.
Thanks so much for your comment. Thanks for all these comments, guys. It's like a little foothold to know I'm not the only one with these themes, especially wondering how they work with another person. It's often so isolating that I wonder. I wish things were not so difficult.
I thought this post might make me seem insane - yet you all know what I'm talking about completely! Gotta love that.
You are hardly insane, Willow. At least, not to those of us who truly get what you are saying. Then again, maybe we are all the insane ones? ;-)
Today's post really resonated with me. I also have Pluto in Libra in a tight square with my ascendant and descendant. What you said is true enough for me: relationships really are an all-or-nothing deal. There is no in between.
Willow
I spotted your blog a few weeks ago and absolutely love it.
I also feel like an 'alchemical chain reaction' lately and what a great expression.
Very much enjoying your work.Thanks.
Fauve
Willow,
My natal chart has both Sun and Pluto in Scorpio, so I guess it's no surprise that this post resonates deeply also with me. Thanks so much for sharing these words.
~william
"You will be aware, often painfully so, of underlying realities that other people remain blissfully unaware of - that's part of the burden and part of what makes it so heavy."
Yep, that about nails my Scorpion stellium and overall existence right there.
And what you said about existing as energy... Knowing that I'm more than just the body I'm in is something that I consider a gift.
Much love to you, Plutonic sis,
Deb
Thank u so much. I feel understood. Scorpio moon here, Pluto transiting my 8th. And saturn! Both on my vertex right now.
I'm glad the article helped, Sonia. Your fellow Plutonics out here are feelin' ya. :-)
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