In my darkest hours, at my most desolate, I can always turn to you for solace.
At my most needy and clingy, when fear has overtaken me and I would repulse most of humankind, you will not turn me away. You take me into your comforting presence and offer me your wisdom. You try to help, and never have I gone away without some sort of foothold, something to look forward to. Sometimes it's just the tiniest detail - the moon changing signs, a retrograde planet not quite hitting a painful spot again, a progressed planet changing signs. Or sometimes it's just a planet moving a single degree. This is the inching forward you have assisted me in doing. Understanding and appreciating the smallest of changes and progress. And I'm grateful.
Yes, I have had to hunt at times to find any sort of pinprick of light, but I always find it.
You've been a steady presence in a life and a world that is sometimes shattering and frightening and confusing.
I'm not sure if I'd still be here if I hadn't found you. Certainly, my life would be much different, more chaotic and overwhelming, and I would feel much less capable within it.
I'm not ashamed to say, at times, you've been my only friend.
You've connected me to the loving presence of those who have gone before me. They speak to me through you, advise me and tell me everything is going to be OK. To keep going.
I see by your cycles that others have lived through tough spots, much tougher than this in many ways, and I no longer feel alone in my troubles.
You've kept me sane and connected to the natural world, even through symbols alone, while sequestered in a downtown city apartment in a life that doesn't quite feel like my own.
You help me see the candle burning in the window of every wise woman who came before me. I can see their kettles boiling and smell the ashes in their hearths. I can see them drawing up charts by hand, ephemerises open. I build on their work now, on the strength of all those who continued through the ages despite danger, ostracism and marginalization. The power of that legacy leaves me in awe.
And it pains me, dear friend, to see how your character and purpose have been besmirched by those who fear your empowering beauty. I see people embarrassed to admit they know you. I see you mocked and trivialized. I see things misattributed to you that are corrupt, and I see you being misused by those ridiculous people who have turned away from their souls.
But don't worry, friend. That will never be me. The astrology that rings through my soul is safe. It will not be corrupted because it's in me. It's in my blood and my bones and my heart and my soul. The words and energy of it will live on even after I'm gone in the hearts and minds of those it has also touched.
I'm honoured to speak your language, to share your wisdom. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart for the gifts you have entrusted me with.
All my love,