Thursday, June 4, 2009

Well, Yuck.

The Sun in Gemini is forming its closing square with Saturn in Virgo right now. The square will be exact at 1:10 p.m. tomorrow - June 5. The vice is tightening.

This square leads into the Full Moon in Sagittarius around noon (MT) on Sunday, June 7. The Moon at 17 degrees Sagittarius opposes the Sun at 17 Gemini, and with Saturn at 15 Virgo forms a mutable T-Square.

Uranus in Pisces at 26 degrees is another mutable influence, creating an energetic mutable Grand Cross.

Mutable energy is all about change and transition and adaptation. And all I can hope is that this Full Moon shakes something loose because the pressure of my circumstances is pretty overwhelming right now. I feel as if every way I turn is a dead end, so my instinct is to just wait out the chaos until a new direction becomes clear. But so far it hasn't. I keep making attempts in different directions, but nothing seems to be sticking. Waiting is starting to be the wrong thing to do and at the same time, I don't see a solid path forward. Yuck. I must say, I hate this phase. I've been here quite a few times in life, and it's always uncomfortable and nerve-wracking.

For me, the time leading up to a square is always the most antsy and pressure-filled. Put that in combination with an upcoming Full Moon (building emotional energy), and you've got an antsy-feeling few days.

With two Mercury-ruled signs involved in a square (Gemini and Virgo), there is bound to be mental pressure and some level of worry and anxiety. Mercury is just getting back up to speed after turning direct in Taurus (dispositing the Sun in Gemini and Saturn in Virgo), and that has created some pressure, as well. Mercury in earthy Taurus moves slower than it would like at the best of times...focussing mental energy in a very grounded way. So this retrograde in Taurus has slowed things even more and required a great deal of patience.

We're heading to the final of three squares between Mercury in Taurus and the Aquarius triple conjunction - Neptune Rx, Chiron Rx and Jupiter in Aquarius. (June 9 - 10) This should be the "getting the show on the road" square as far as concrete plans go. Mercury has retrograded, and now we're moving full-speed direct.

I wrote about the Taurus-Aquarius square themes extensively in the Saturn Direct post, and that post is still very relevant.

We're making all this "future vision" and "revolution" stuff personally meaningful, in a concrete way. Deciding what is valuable to us and making sure we're following our own vision, not getting swept up in marketing and style over substance.

Mars and Venus in Taurus will also square the Aquarius bodies (at the beginning of July), so again, the themes of the Taurus-Aquarius square continue through this month.

I'm actually really angry right now, though. I feel as if I've been patient as patient can be, and still nothing concrete. I feel as if I've done everything I could and no results. I feel short-changed, I guess. Chiron in Taurus on the MC. haha Fuck.

Anyway, no New Agey platitudes about how it's "all part of the divine plan," please. If a person can't be honest about her situation and feelings on her blog, where can she be honest about them?

Things are tough, and it just makes it worse to pretend that isn't the case.

1 comment:

sleepless-1111 said...

Hi Willow;

I'm sorry things are so crap right now. :( You're so right about the wait/don't wait feeling. In a similar boat here (my last day at a shitty job tomorrow, taking that leap into the unknown).

It's such a Plutonian dynamic overall, with all the squares in the sky just aggravating the hell out of everything. We see all the painful entropic stuff going on and start to wonder when we'll finally get out of the pit. Astrologically, we can see the why's of things happening, and try to detach. But damn, it's frustrating!! I want to scream too.

The only part that keeps me going is that I know deep down that this is a huge purge, making us all let go of the bullshit (and to stop taking it from people).

I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go outside and howl when the full moon comes up…