Now the Moon in Virgo, heading to a conjunction with Saturn, is drawing attention to how arduously long this Saturn in Virgo retrograde has been. For me, anyway...
And we still have two weeks to put in. It goes direct the evening of Saturday, May 16. Saturn's Day.
It's times like these that I wish I didn't know astrology. I think ignorance might just be bliss on this one, but I would probably still be wondering why everything was progressively feeling as if I were trudging through molasses...and why nothing concrete seemed to be happening.
We can look forward to the idea that things should start coming together post-May 16, but there are still these two weeks to contend with.
Two more unemployed weeks for Willow. :(
I'm not sure if the Saturn retrograde (and February's second Saturn-Uranus opposition) coincided with specific events for a lot of people, but for me, it was textbook.
The owner of the store where I worked had a stroke December 23, just after a Sun-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn (business owners/structures - Capricorn). For the next month, I ran the store alone.
Saturn went retrograde December 30, 2008, and just before it opposed Uranus at the beginning of February, 2009, I found out the store was being booted out of its location due to gentrification plans at the downtown mall.
My work life had dissolved.
I dreaded the idea that I would have to wait and wait and wait to see if a new store would be opened, but that's what happened. Looking around the city, there are a lot of empty spaces where businesses used to be, so I can see the transformation has gone on on a grand scale. I also knew there was no sense in trying to set something new up within crumbling structures. So I have accepted the Saturnine limitations and timing, even when I didn't want to.
Now, I have my fingers crossed that Saturn direct will mean new avenues opening up. New concrete avenues. (I'm sure we all do.) I've been trying to ride out the chaos and changes, but it's getting difficult. I'm antsy. And I'm starting to second-guess myself. Not a good thing.
I'm not even sure if the store will have a reincarnation in a new location. But I need something to start happening ASAP.
At the same time, I am 100% certain that I won't go into anything even resembling the old, dysfunctional store structure. I'm not going to fall into the trap of constantly cleaning up after a Pluto in Leo who won't get his shit together - and that's what was happening. My Virgo energy was used and abused, I'm afraid...as it often is, and I'm not putting myself in a similar situation again.
I feel so strongly that there is nothing out there for me related to the old structures, that what has to happen next has to be something new completely. But it's difficult to keep the faith that a new path is going to open up after so much stillness and restriction.
So many people would think I'm completely mad waiting for Saturn to turn direct! hahaha Most people follow the reasoning, you're unemployed? Well, get a job, you bum!
How to explain to people that it's not that simple...without people thinking it's an excuse?
At the same time, there are a lot of people who think I'm mad for pouring energy into something largely unpaid like this blog. Again, how can I explain to them why I do this in a way they'll accept?
I don't think I can, so I generally don't try.
But I'm looking to the Jupiter-Chiron-Neptune conjunctions at 26 Aquarius, beginning May 23 and ending July 22, and hoping that those of us who have lived our lives following the call of the Aquarian future will get the boost we so need around this time.
We also have Mercury currently stationing retrograde at 1 degree Gemini. It goes retrograde Wednesday, May 6 for three weeks, turning direct again May 30.
Venus in Aries leaves its retrograde shadow May 20, entering new territory at 15 Aries just as Saturn is gaining a bit of speed moving direct. So we have indicators of new movement this month.
Saturn direct, Venus in Aries (sign of beginnings and new directions) heading into new territory, travelling conjunct Mars in Aries, and the conjunctions of Jupiter, Chiron and Neptune in late Aquarius (sign of future vision).
I've been experiencing a lot of depression and low physical energy as Saturn ends this retrograde, but I'm feeling better as I look to the second half of the month and the momentum building for the summer...