Being our true, honest, raw selves is the only way to find and create our new communities. This is the way we enter into relationships with true equals, true comrades.
Stripping down social artifice of all kinds. Stripping away any stifling self-censorship that goes along with belonging to and maintaining status within a group. Finding freedom from and passing out of the crumbling structures of any groups or relations that can't contain who we really are. It takes courage, yes.
This is what is so exciting to me about these times. That we could eschew false karasses and demand our most authentic places within our most suitable communities alongside our most compatible comrades. Awesome.
Here is where living our diversity as individuals creates the collective we desire. It's not about moulding and shaping ourselves to fit within a group. It's about uncovering and living every nuanced aspect of ourselves, no apologies, so that the community forms around us and fits like a malleable, ever-adapting glove. No bending, no bowing, no squishing ourselves into shoes that don't fit just because everyone else we see is wearing them. Every edge, every corner, every variation is necessary for us to find our rightful place. They are not to be downplayed or explained away.
Being disconnected from AstroDispatch (a website that publishes masses of astrology blogs) makes me aware that being connected to that type of community is not for me. My perspective is not for everyone, and I know this. While I liked that it (possibly) made it easier for people who like this blog to find me, I actually realized a degree of self-censorship that I was doing here just because I knew that my blog posts would be out there for the masses to see. That's not something I want to do.
I've always understood that astrology was one of those false karasses. Being into astrology does not equal compatibility. There are as many variations of astrology as there are astrologers and there is no greater likelihood that you'll mesh with someone on that basis than with the general public. In fact, in my experience, it's usually worse odds. A sort of "too many cooks in the kitchen" type of thing.
Some people are like oil and water. They just don't mix. Instead of making that into something that is wrong, why don't we just accept it? Wouldn't that save a lot of confusion and hurt feelings?
From experience, I understand that I'm just not a person who can (or is meant to) bend to the rules of membership. Existing group dynamics always seem to require some sort of personal compromising/conformity to the way of the group, and I just don't agree with that. I guess the only group I'm meant to belong to is the group of people who have similar standards. haha
I really write this blog as a communication to the universe and, as odd as it sounds, to myself. I see it as a breadcrumb trail for myself and, I guess, for other people who find the communication valuable.
I think about younger versions of myself and how rough they had it at times. I think about the rough spots up ahead. And I think about the kind of honest and loving advice and instruction I would like to give myself to make the way a little less treacherous. That's what I try to do with this blog. It's the kind of loving advice and instruction I would like anyone in similar cirumstances to find. A breadcrumb trail through time and space that tells all of us that we're going to make it through. A trail to help us feel less alone because we know someone has been through here before. A trail to show us how to traverse the tricky parts and how to avoid the pitfalls. Something that tells us there are others who understand, even if we can't see anyone up ahead or behind.
Because I know how rough this particular trail is, I won't waste my time with anything that isn't what I consider straight-up real, honest and authentic. There just isn't time for anything else.
So the fact that this blog is not "connected" to any one group or organization is actually useful because I think it makes it more likely that only those who understand this particular breadcrumb trail will find it.
It's like that saying: you don't find many people on the extra mile. And when you do find someone else, it's mighty fine. Mighty fine.
1 comment:
Bravo for you.. the past few weeks have felt very much like some crazy intense gut check that brings you face to face with what you give up to belong to others..
Thanks for sharing your process and leaving tracks for folks to follow..
whether you are on Elsa Elsa or not, those who need you will find you
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