Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Venus in Scorpio, I Love Your Hardcore Ass! And Yet, You Make Me Want To Die...

Disclaimer: This is a personal post, so if you're not down with that, please don't read further...)

So I'm one of those lucky, lucky people with a Scorpio stellium. (A stellium is three or more planets in one sign.) There are a lot of us out there, and we all pretty much feel each other's pain because we're the people who can never deny the dark and twisted elements of human experience. We see through the glossy, personality veneer right to the soul, right to the denied parts that people try to cover up and pretend don't exist. We see through the song-and-dance right to the hidden motivations of each individual we come into contact with. We know what they want from us and see the ways they're not being straight about getting it.

Basically, we can tell who's full of shit right from the get go.

(People without a stellium in Scorp can also live these phenomena - any of the personal planets in Scorp would do it, a strongly placed/aspected Pluto or bodies in the 8th house, etc.)

Unlike other people, we can't pretend we don't know about this stuff. We can't pretend that we don't know you're trying to manipulate us. We can't pretend we don't see you doing the wrong thing and getting rewarded for it, gaining power from it. We can't turn a blind eye when we see you sucking other people dry and using their energy for personal gain.

If we try to look the other way, it makes us weak and sick and attracts all kinds of hell-type karmic experiences until we finally give in and live what we know to be true. Basically, we get bitten in the ass and energetically exhausted so many times from being dragged into hideous situations that we have to look this shit right in the eye and live with it as a prime motivator for our own actions.

This is also why most Plutonic/Scorpionic-types can't stand the current "everything has to be happy, happy and positive" propaganda in the pseudo-spiritual circles. Scorpio knows negative and positive, light and dark, co-exist. They are yin and yang. To deny the dark and negative is to deny the realities of life. And it's this denial that actually gives the dark free rein to come out in ugly, twisted, unconscious ways - ways that can then be even further denied!

When the masses insist that the dark doesn't exist, or that it doesn't exist IN THEM, it leaves a disproportionate amount of dark and ugly for the people who can't refuse its existence. In other words, it's just not fair, not balanced, when people refuse to accept and integrate the reality of light and dark co-existing. When people refuse to take responsibility for conscious awareness of the darker aspects of life and self, they leave a very skewed reality for those who know otherwise and can't bury their heads in the sand.

At this time of the year, as we slide from "keeping it all socially nicey nice" Libra to "I'd rather die than live like this" Scorpio, some ugly shit is bound to be spun off and into conscious awareness.

Venus and Mars are currently in Scorpio. The Sun will be there in a couple of weeks, and the currently retrograde Mercury in Libra is ruled by Venus in Scorpio.

So wherever Scorpio is in your chart, this is the area being rooted around in by Scorpio planets right now.

But for me, it's Venus and Mars in Scorpio all year round! Lucky me.

Whatever house a stellium is in is the area of life where the themes of the sign(s) involved will be prevalent. For me, the Scorpio stellium is in the 4th house. A placement that makes family, home, roots, inner, emotional world and early life areas where this dark, twisted, hellish bullshit comes to the forefront. Stuff that is being brought to conscious awareness and regenerated for the collective, not just for me, personally, I might add.

So true to form, I learned some extremely hurtful information a few days ago about what one side of my family truly thinks about me. It's always a betrayal to find out that people have been talking shit about you, especially when it's your own family and especially when what's being said is false - just mudslinging designed to denigrate my character. But it's always best to know exactly what people's underlying concept of you is - especially when it's mostly a fabrication. Says more about them than it does about you, actually.

Mercury is retrograde, so the information I got was slightly off, but it led to the root of the issue, which was this side of the family constantly treating me like a second class citizen, talking behind my back and running me down, making derogatory comments with insidious tones in my presence. And inviting me to their family gatherings just so they'd have more fodder.

Their view of me is connected to my Chiron in Taurus placement.

Let's just say there are themes, among others, of not having myself or my contributions valued or appreciated by the mainstream business world, and consequently, often not being paid well for the work I do. It is an aspect that leads to being invisible or treated badly in the public world, to not achieving what the mainstream thinks you should achieve, to not being considered a valuable member of the mainstream hierarchy because you just don't fit in. It's about your own personal values not being the same as most other people's or the same as those of the traditional hierarchical structures. Never having the safe, secure career path because you are working within the structures for change and justice, not to maintain the status quo. Not having the material rewards or recognition that others have because you can't use money or public prestige as your prime motivators. Doing spiritual/emotional/energetic work that is not recognized or valued by the current structures or often by other people. It's being compelled to do the work you do, reward or not, because you know it has to be done and because there aren't too damn many other people who would take it on and then be shit on for it. Because, as I said in the October update, most people don't like being around Scorpio energy at work and eventually try to get rid of it - even though it's necessary, now more than ever.

Anyway, I've always had to deal with these issues. As many people experience, my family thought they knew better than I how I should live my life. They always treated my work as if it were a triviality, pushing me into getting a corporate office job or marrying rich (using the Scorpio part of the polarity).

What they could never accept was that a corporate office job would be death to me - literally. (As would marrying strictly for money.) I have a very specific life path. I'm not here just to go along with the crap I see going on and collect my paycheque. I'm here to do the work that I consider important to change things, and it doesn't matter a good Goddamn if anyone else thinks it's important. I know it is.

As I said before, with a Scorpio stellium, I see things other people don't. And I'm compelled to act in ways that other people are not.

I know what I've done during my time on the planet. I know what I've done spiritually/energetically. I know the changes I've initiated, from the time I was 13 years old in small-town Saskatchewan until now. And I know that my work has been absolutely priceless - whether other people know it is not really my concern.

Although it does hurt (Chiron) not to be recognized or paid well for what I do, that doesn't make the work less valuable, and it doesn't make me less valuable as a person. It doesn't mean I'm wasting my education or my life.

If my family (or anyone else) doesn't know that, that's their problem. Short-sighted people, these...

So thank-you, Scorpio. I've been working on this stuff for years (since birth? longer?), and you finally gave me the proof I need and the strength I need to sever unhealthy dynamics in my life related to these family members. The thorn finally came out, and we got it all out. I'll no longer be connecting to a source of enervating poison out of an outdated understanding of what family is. I don't have to accept this treatment from anyone.

And thank-you because now I don't have to sit through their Goddamn bullshit Thanksgiving meal dodging their toxic barbs!!! Woo-hoo!!

Now that's something to be thankful for.

12 comments:

savia said...

Amen to that, sister, as a fellow gal with a whole lot of Scorpio in her chart!

Ava said...

Another horrible family gathering, berating me over something stupid and I thought "my friends don't say this shit to me!'

It hit me that blood isn't family and I owe them nothing.

Without saying anything, I got up and left. They didn't call me, I didn't call them.

It's been over 20 years and I have never regretted it.

Life's too short to spend it with haters.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

Divorcing from "family?"....opens the doors to "freedom" and the ability to surround yourself with people who truly love and care for you / me / us.

Been there....Done that.

I will celebrate with you Jillian.

R.A. Ryan said...

bounced here looking for venus and mars in scorpio stuff. i enjoyed the tone of your post.

Anonymous said...

Hardcore resonate with this entire post Willow. I've got a similar scorpio stellium to yours (10nth house though), with Mars, Venus, Uranus, & Mercury all one big family, and Sun conjunct Pluto in Libra.

Divorcing my family four and half years ago was the best move I ever made. And everybody else that's a toxic drain on my soul can kiss my sweet ass too.

Garrett said...

Hey,

Intriging post as I can so relate.

I too have a Scorpio stellium in my fourth house (sun, mercury, venus, uranus and Part of Fortune) AND Chiron in Taurus in the Tenth as well! Often, throughout my life, I've cared deeply about passions that don't net much $$$ but that i enjoy immensly. (I'm into painting, poetry, acting in amateur skits, spiritual matters and gaming) The best summer of my life was spent painting a mural on a trashbin in the back of the restaurant I worked at. I only made $150 CDN that summer (2001)...but, did I care about the money part? No, as I was enjoying what I was doing too much. Most days I'd be out there (on my days off) from 9-9:30 in the morning till about 10 at night painting with my car lights on me. I was creating and opening people up to a new way of looking at things through my art.

Also, if this means anything, I have Mars (co-ruler of Scorpio) in my first house of personality and appearence so the Mars-Scorpio influence is definately prominent in my chart. I also astral travel in my dreams and 'see' things psychically in my dreams sometimes while I'm asleep.

Mars is in first house, scorp stellium in 4th and chiron in 10th, all SQUARE each other...

Cheers

Anonymous said...

hey, its good to know i am not only one with a stellium in scorpio in 4th house, chiron in 10th and mars conjunct ascendant and i feel the same as you all do, i am here to do some meaningful work whether it is out of crowd recognition/approval or not.i have my own path to follow and i dont care what others think about what i should do..

Aaron Irons said...

Thank you for sharing your heart, soul and mind. Much empathy here in what you express.

Feeling, perceiving, knowing, and bringing it into the light of honest recognition for not only our own but communal consciousness and transformation, at least providing the honest insight for it for those willing to acknowledge and engage, as well is indeed a deep source of motivation in speaking frankly.

Scorpio, venus, jupiter and vesta in scorpio in 8th house I have. Share empathy

NorthNodeInLibra said...

fwiw Willow, if I was rich I'd be your patron and if I was poor I'd be your disciple.

Seriously, I have LIz Greene's book on Neptune. She has a whole chapter on new age gurus (you know the type) who get their followers' money. If the world were a more fair place somebody like yourself would be very well compensated. Not disgustinly so like those gurus but enough you wouldn't need to sweat next months rent or the month after that either.

the world is changing, when the dark ages hit rome all of a sudden people got into the matriarchal type religions. (Hence the worship of the Virgin Mary) Who knows maybe our society will go through something similar, it sure seems on its way to hell via the express train. if stuff happens fast enough perhaps before your 40 or so you'll start getting the recognition you deserve. scorp ages well (like vamps who drink blood to stay young but naturally) so you have that going for you too.

Anonymous said...

I also have a 4th house stellium in scorpio and a chiron in taurus. I think nobody can be as free as he would like to be. For example, lack of money is a problem and earn money depends on have a paid work. Although I love to be by myself, I have to go out and gain money. However, recognition from the family is not essencial. What I mean is that 4th house tell about your family but, in a deeper meaning, it tells about your inner self. When you trully believe in your value, your family opinion is no longer important. The deeper you become next to your true self, more you will be able to confortable live.

Anonymous said...

Hi there,
I have quite similar planets to Garrett. 4th house in scorpio with sun, venus,uranus and mercury in it. Also I have a mars in 1st house (leo)and chiron in 10th in taurus. Yes it is a square! and a bloody big one :)I had a very intense relationship with my family but now I'm over it and I do live, far away from them, in different country so it is easy to have a positive relatioship with them and miss them too:)Workwise I had a lot different jobs in my life, never 'serious" although I have degrree. Working just to get money and I've always felt that being at work it is a waste of time. Always enjoyed more voluntary work than paid one:) But reason I am writing is because I wonder how you feel now with transiting saturn into your 4th house? I can tell that I am lost like really lost big time. What is your experince?
Shall I say Merry Christmas :)

Susie White said...

"When the masses insist that the dark doesn't exist, or that it doesn't exist IN THEM, it leaves a disproportionate amount of dark and ugly for the people who can't refuse its existence. In other words, it's just not fair, not balanced, when people refuse to accept and integrate the reality of light and dark co-existing. When people refuse to take responsibility for conscious awareness of the darker aspects of life and self, they leave a very skewed reality for those who know otherwise and can't bury their heads in the sand."
This is the most genius thing I've ever read about Scorpio's purpose/challenge and the detriment of denying the co-existence of light and dark in this world. Fantastic. I have a daughter with this stellium in the fourth house and we are both Leo risings( i have Neptune in the 4th). I've always felt a special connection with and understanding of her. I often feel protective of the judgments people may place on her strong emotional reactions to things or for not being the overly enthusiastic cheerleader sort :-). I admire her guts to pursue life creatively and passionately. I love her sensitivity, though I notice that in her sensitivity she can react in ways that create more dark, more pain and more isolation for her. What is the best way to help a teenager with this stellium? To validate and nurture her purpose but also help her to see the beauty in light that is there to regenerate and inspire us forward?