Venus in Scorpio, I Love Your Hardcore Ass! And Yet, You Make Me Want To Die...

Disclaimer: This is a personal post, so if you're not down with that, please don't read further...)

So I'm one of those lucky, lucky people with a Scorpio stellium. (A stellium is three or more planets in one sign.) There are a lot of us out there, and we all pretty much feel each other's pain because we're the people who can never deny the dark and twisted elements of human experience. We see through the glossy, personality veneer right to the soul, right to the denied parts that people try to cover up and pretend don't exist. We see through the song-and-dance right to the hidden motivations of each individual we come into contact with. We know what they want from us and see the ways they're not being straight about getting it.

Basically, we can tell who's full of shit right from the get go.

(People without a stellium in Scorp can also live these phenomena - any of the personal planets in Scorp would do it, a strongly placed/aspected Pluto or bodies in the 8th house, etc.)

Unlike other people, we can't pretend we don't know about this stuff. We can't pretend that we don't know you're trying to manipulate us. We can't pretend we don't see you doing the wrong thing and getting rewarded for it, gaining power from it. We can't turn a blind eye when we see you sucking other people dry and using their energy for personal gain.

If we try to look the other way, it makes us weak and sick and attracts all kinds of hell-type karmic experiences until we finally give in and live what we know to be true. Basically, we get bitten in the ass and energetically exhausted so many times from being dragged into hideous situations that we have to look this shit right in the eye and live with it as a prime motivator for our own actions.

This is also why most Plutonic/Scorpionic-types can't stand the current "everything has to be happy, happy and positive" propaganda in the pseudo-spiritual circles. Scorpio knows negative and positive, light and dark, co-exist. They are yin and yang. To deny the dark and negative is to deny the realities of life. And it's this denial that actually gives the dark free rein to come out in ugly, twisted, unconscious ways - ways that can then be even further denied!

When the masses insist that the dark doesn't exist, or that it doesn't exist IN THEM, it leaves a disproportionate amount of dark and ugly for the people who can't refuse its existence. In other words, it's just not fair, not balanced, when people refuse to accept and integrate the reality of light and dark co-existing. When people refuse to take responsibility for conscious awareness of the darker aspects of life and self, they leave a very skewed reality for those who know otherwise and can't bury their heads in the sand.

At this time of the year, as we slide from "keeping it all socially nicey nice" Libra to "I'd rather die than live like this" Scorpio, some ugly shit is bound to be spun off and into conscious awareness.

Venus and Mars are currently in Scorpio. The Sun will be there in a couple of weeks, and the currently retrograde Mercury in Libra is ruled by Venus in Scorpio.

So wherever Scorpio is in your chart, this is the area being rooted around in by Scorpio planets right now.

But for me, it's Venus and Mars in Scorpio all year round! Lucky me.

Whatever house a stellium is in is the area of life where the themes of the sign(s) involved will be prevalent. For me, the Scorpio stellium is in the 4th house. A placement that makes family, home, roots, inner, emotional world and early life areas where this dark, twisted, hellish bullshit comes to the forefront. Stuff that is being brought to conscious awareness and regenerated for the collective, not just for me, personally, I might add.

So true to form, I learned some extremely hurtful information a few days ago about what one side of my family truly thinks about me. It's always a betrayal to find out that people have been talking shit about you, especially when it's your own family and especially when what's being said is false - just mudslinging designed to denigrate my character. But it's always best to know exactly what people's underlying concept of you is - especially when it's mostly a fabrication. Says more about them than it does about you, actually.

Mercury is retrograde, so the information I got was slightly off, but it led to the root of the issue, which was this side of the family constantly treating me like a second class citizen, talking behind my back and running me down, making derogatory comments with insidious tones in my presence. And inviting me to their family gatherings just so they'd have more fodder.

Their view of me is connected to my Chiron in Taurus placement.

Let's just say there are themes, among others, of not having myself or my contributions valued or appreciated by the mainstream business world, and consequently, often not being paid well for the work I do. It is an aspect that leads to being invisible or treated badly in the public world, to not achieving what the mainstream thinks you should achieve, to not being considered a valuable member of the mainstream hierarchy because you just don't fit in. It's about your own personal values not being the same as most other people's or the same as those of the traditional hierarchical structures. Never having the safe, secure career path because you are working within the structures for change and justice, not to maintain the status quo. Not having the material rewards or recognition that others have because you can't use money or public prestige as your prime motivators. Doing spiritual/emotional/energetic work that is not recognized or valued by the current structures or often by other people. It's being compelled to do the work you do, reward or not, because you know it has to be done and because there aren't too damn many other people who would take it on and then be shit on for it. Because, as I said in the October update, most people don't like being around Scorpio energy at work and eventually try to get rid of it - even though it's necessary, now more than ever.

Anyway, I've always had to deal with these issues. As many people experience, my family thought they knew better than I how I should live my life. They always treated my work as if it were a triviality, pushing me into getting a corporate office job or marrying rich (using the Scorpio part of the polarity).

What they could never accept was that a corporate office job would be death to me - literally. (As would marrying strictly for money.) I have a very specific life path. I'm not here just to go along with the crap I see going on and collect my paycheque. I'm here to do the work that I consider important to change things, and it doesn't matter a good Goddamn if anyone else thinks it's important. I know it is.

As I said before, with a Scorpio stellium, I see things other people don't. And I'm compelled to act in ways that other people are not.

I know what I've done during my time on the planet. I know what I've done spiritually/energetically. I know the changes I've initiated, from the time I was 13 years old in small-town Saskatchewan until now. And I know that my work has been absolutely priceless - whether other people know it is not really my concern.

Although it does hurt (Chiron) not to be recognized or paid well for what I do, that doesn't make the work less valuable, and it doesn't make me less valuable as a person. It doesn't mean I'm wasting my education or my life.

If my family (or anyone else) doesn't know that, that's their problem. Short-sighted people, these...

So thank-you, Scorpio. I've been working on this stuff for years (since birth? longer?), and you finally gave me the proof I need and the strength I need to sever unhealthy dynamics in my life related to these family members. The thorn finally came out, and we got it all out. I'll no longer be connecting to a source of enervating poison out of an outdated understanding of what family is. I don't have to accept this treatment from anyone.

And thank-you because now I don't have to sit through their Goddamn bullshit Thanksgiving meal dodging their toxic barbs!!! Woo-hoo!!

Now that's something to be thankful for.